With Halloween 2023 behind us (and college application season too, for the most part), I cannot help but feel a plethora of emotions. The passing of the November 1st deadline has me excited as ever, ready to enjoy everything great about being a senior, a pseudo-adult, a now “free soul”. But as the end of the spooky season revealed, looking ahead to college brings a certain level of sadness, too. Sure, I could look ahead to Thanksgiving and spending quality time with family, or to Christmas, the happiest time of year, filled with joy, excitement, and relaxation. Alas, I still choose to look behind me. Halloween 2023 was the last Halloween I had in Naperville (as a “child” at least). November will mark the final Thanksgiving in Naperville. December marks the final Christmas. January the last New Year’s. And, of course, May marks the end of an 18-year journey through youth—something I will never get back.
So, I look back at the last 17 (almost 18) years I’ve had the chance to enjoy, to enjoy as a child. Have I done enough? Have I done enough for myself, for those around me, for those I might never get the chance to meet? Maybe. Maybe not. I guess I’ll know in a few decades, at the very least. For now, though, I hope to look to the future. To do those things which I maybe have not done yet. To share experiences with those who I have not, to make memories with those I have not. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my list of priorities, and I like to think that I can still hold them in high regard, even when allocating time to do what I have not. Scoring good grades, keeping up with extracurriculars, and maintaining existing relationships are still at the top of my mind. But now, just one step beneath these ideals, lies all I hope to do between now and the end of my high school and childhood journey—to enjoy the gifts of childhood, the gift of pursuing memories—for many, this might really be the pursuit of doing nothing, of taking it easy.
The motivation for such a mindset towards the future (such a future referring to the mere months I have left in Naperville), really, stems from a notion which has surrounded me for most of, if not all, of my life—the idea of “wasting your childhood”, or wanting to “be a kid again”. Admittedly, as not yet being an adult (both in the legal and technical sense), I probably do not fully understand these sentiments. How will I know if I “wasted” my childhood, if I never knew anything other than childhood in the first place. Such a thought-process is comforting when looking ahead. However, in the same light, I strive to look back on my upbringing and have the confidence to take zero regret in all I’ve done these years. I don’t want to reflect on my high school years and see a slacker, so preoccupied with the material world, the worlds of vanity and self-image. A slacker loses sight of what’s important, of what will really take them places—whether it be towards a job, a family, a goal, or a dream—ultimately, towards happiness. In the same sense, I don’t want to look at my high school-self and see someone who neglected what they may never get again.
So, with the ten months (give or take) I have ahead of me, here’s a couple of things that I’ll do before entering a new phase of my life—and perhaps things you can do as well, for one final hurrah!:
- Take an extra trip (or two) with friends or family. Strengthening these relationships now, especially seeing as long-term, these people will no longer be directly in your life, is the first step in maintaining these connections, no matter the physical distance. Your friends have taught you valuable lessons, brought you joy, and molded you into who you are today (hopefully for the better). After all, they are your friends for a reason! Make sure you hang on to as many as possible—they will only to continue to teach, uplift, and inspire. Family is no different. They have made it possible to be where you are today: spending quality time, whether as an act of gratitude or as a means of immense future benefit, will never be a bad idea.
- Try something new. Find a niche! My friends and I promised one another that, following the end of college application season, we would all join the ultimate frisbee team at North, just for the fun of it! Dive deeper into a hobby which you might not have the time or focus for later. It helps strengthen existing relationships, too!
- Enjoy yourself, and be honest! You know yourself better than anyone else, so every now and then, truly assess whether or not you are having at least a little bit of fun. Make room for fun, no matter the form, when you know you can—life only gets busier, and it all starts in just under a year. Go enjoy one last hurrah.
Hey Aarohan, I completely understand how you are feeling about this being your last year as a “child”. Unfortunately, I’m already an adult in the legal sense so I get to take in this year as a big farewell party. If I’m going to be honest this thought has been in my mind for the past couple of months and it terrifies me that this is our last year. I think that as kids we’re so focused on growing up or doing our little things we never fully grasp the concept that we can never go back. And I think the older we grow the more we think about if we did something right or if we had enough time. However, I enjoyed how you changed “what was” to “what can be”. Lastly, I adore that you added a couple of ideas as to what to do as a final hurrah. I’ll definitely be taking that extra trip! 🙂
Aarohan, when I was scrolling through all the blog posts your first sentence really grabbed my attention and hooked me into wanting more. The way you wrote about all of the emotions and nostalgia that have been present and have really risen to the surface with the recent close of the college application season, perfectly bottled up the same thing I have gone through. Now that we finally have time to breathe, I too have found myself thinking about how many “lasts” we have this year, and a lot of them are approaching quickly with the holiday season. Your writing conveyed what I have been feeling through this time, a sadness full of questioning and contemplating, “have I done enough?” but also containing fulfillment in what we have accomplished in our “childhoods.” I really liked your advice to just keep in mind all of the “lasts” that are coming up and to make the most of this time with our family and friends. Overall, I think your blog really encapsulates the emotions that I have been feeling in this season, along with many of our fellow seniors, and I think you did a great job conveying what it feels like to be a senior now that college applications are mostly over.