Over the course of a seemingly fast-tracked first semester of senior year, writing (though not always at the top of my list of priorities) was forced to linger in my mind. Whether it be the excitement of writing on a new blog topic or the dreading of formulating yet another college essay, I felt that I never chose writing. Rather, writing always chose me (or, more accurately, forced its way upon me). In one way or another, I realized, I had to find a way to reliably enjoy writing. How could I truly immerse myself in stringing words, sentences, and ultimately paragraphs together, all in the creation of a work holding some level of significance? Could I even do it? This was my challenge for the home stretch of 2023. Although, personally, I do not think I made much progress at all in my journey towards writing enjoyment, I can certainly say that I’ve experienced some very necessary growth.

For starters, I feel that I’ve learned to better harness my memory, to really dig deep into my past (not on any emotional or spiritual level, per se) and pull out the moments that counted. I do not know what exactly to attribute this to, but I’ll take an improvement in memory any day. Especially when writing the blog about my birthday and the various factors which make it so special (and annoyingly special, at that), the amount which I seemed to gather regarding random family gatherings, social situations, and gifts from the Christmas’ of 2012 and earlier amazed me. In the same sense, perhaps this is why that blog was so enjoyable to write in the first place. Not too often do I, on my own free will, get to take a trip down memory lane, an opportunity to reminisce on what exactly is crammed into the ever-tightening space that is my brain. It was refreshing to have the time I allotted to write my blogs—previously uninteresting and obligatory—be, in a way, time I took to myself and, more importantly, a deeper understanding of self. Now writing this blog, I can safely say that this, more than any other reason, is likely the key behind the growth which I have experienced—and potentially to the enjoyment of writing which I have been seeking for many years. 

From reading the blogs of others (friends, mostly), I feel that I may have found myself at the start of the journey. Even more than the aspect of reminiscing, seeing the blog topics of those who surround me on a daily basis gives me hope that, maybe someday, I will be able to find a niche, an originality of sorts, where I can both creatively and happily embark on the task of writing. For years, both in an out of school, the writing which I have done has been very one-dimensional—that is to say, I don’t think I ever went out of my comfort zone, perhaps on a mission to find the sort of writing which, like a hobby, game, or sport, sees me lose all track of time. Don’t get me wrong, I already lose track of time when writing, just not in the desirable sort of way. Timed writings, for one, cater to me as one of the greatest ways to time travel through 50 (or 45, or 42) minutes of otherwise seemingly endless periods of time. 

So, heading into the second semester of my last year as a high schooler, I guess I have something to be excited about (other than college). Even if not the most “exciting type of excitement”, as a self-proclaimed optimist, I’ll take what I can get. Who knows, if I keep up this pace, 2024 may just be my year of writing (if not, though, I’m not too pressed).