Best Selling American Author, Susan Cain once said: “Solitude matters, and for some people, it is the air they breathe.” 

I would like to think of myself as outgoing and friendly. Often, I am the one who initiates conversation with others and makes the first move in forming friendships. I can speak in front of crowds without a shred of anxiety, and if I am in a room full of new people, I somehow find a way to place myself in the spotlight. Despite all of this, I find people exhausting. While I have a deep sense of love for my friends, I still find myself absolutely wiped after spending a day out with them. This is not because my friends are mean or bad. In fact, I would trust them with my life if need be. Social interaction just makes me tired, regardless of how comfortable I may seem with it. 

Throughout my life, I have been surrounded by radiant people who never quite seem to get tired of interacting with others. My household is full of chattering extroverts. We’re all loud, opinionated, and never quite seem to stop talking. Externally, there appears to be no difference between the rest of my family and me. My outgoing personality is nearly identical to that of my father. The difference between the two of us, however, is that he truly finds people energizing. Being around others for long periods of time has only a positive effect on his energy levels. In short, his social battery seems to charge in the presence of others while mine drains instead. 

There exist only a select few individuals with whom I can interact with for hours on end without feeling exhausted. The two I can think of off the top of my head are my Grandmother and my childhood best friend Kaylee. It’s a very short list. This does not mean I do not love the other individuals in my life; I certainly do. However, I require a lot of alone time and space in order to thrive and others often seem to become frustrated by that. Growing up in a house full of extroverts, I often felt  guilty and self-conscious for preferring my own company. After a long day, I would unwind by locking my bedroom door and snuggling into my covers for hours to simply recharge. If I got a knock on the door, I would grumble and tell them to go away. My parents found this to be insulting, moody teenager behavior. Or worse, they would think I was sad or upset. Neither of these assumptions were true. My reason for isolating had no correlation with me being in a state of distress, it’s quite the opposite. I found being alone comforting. 

To many, this fact always comes as a shock. “How can you be drained? You love people.” and “People are meant to be social. How can you like being alone?” are some of the phrases I frequently hear upon telling people that my social battery is one that is quickly depleted. The worst possible outcome, however, is when others perceive my love for being alone as a hatred for them. I would like to clarify that I certainly do not possess a dislike for people. Although I am easily exhausted by excessive social interaction, I still find it fascinating to meet new people and form meaningful relationships with those around me. For a long time, I labeled myself as an extrovert because I believed that my socially confident personality meant that I had to be. My perception was that introverts were individuals who were shy, timid, and soft-spoken. The image I had of introversion did not match my personality at all. Many years of my life were spent convincing myself that I should love going out with my friends, and that I should have an infinite amount of social stamina. However, the reality of the matter is that I simply do not. 

There have been numerous occasions where I’ve declined plans because I did not possess the social energy nor the desire to interact with others on that particular day. I never verbalized this to those who had invited me, in fear of being seen as selfish. It was only when I was fourteen and had been talking with a friend about personality types and the difference between introversion and extroversion, that I was taught that these terms determine where one gets their energy from, not the nature of their personality. Those who are introverted gain energy from being alone while those who are extroverted gain energy from being around others. One can be shy, yet extroverted, or outgoing, yet introverted. Being introverted or extroverted is innate—it is not something that one can control. Since learning this information, I have come to realize that my introversion is not something that I should feel guilty about and that I am no less of an introvert simply because I can carry a conversation with a stranger. Despite having a large circle of friends, and possessing a seeming social confidence, at the end of the day, I prefer my own company over that of anyone else. 

As children, we were taught to sit in a circle and sing “rain rain go away, come again another day” whenever the windows were plastered with raindrops and the heavy thrum of water droplets echoed on the roof. At the time, I too wanted the rain to go away. It would prevent me from playing outside with my friends, and it made my hair wet and frizzy whenever I would dare to step outside. Everyone would hide under their umbrellas, in fear of even a droplet of water touching their body. However, there would always be a few children who would walk through the rain without a care in the world. These children would stop to splash in the puddles or stick their tongues out to catch the raindrops. I would always watch them from the safety of my umbrella. To me, and to many others, the idea that rain could be seen as a friend rather than an enemy was quite peculiar. 

However, recent psychological research illustrates that people who love rain (also called pluviophiles) have been shown to experience a greater amount of happiness in life than those who dislike rain. This idea is bizarre and counterintuitive. To most, rain is associated with sorrow. When it is raining, the sky is dark, the sun is nowhere to be seen, and with that, a majority of the population experiences a dip in serotonin levels due to the lack of sunshine. In fact, in rainy climates, individuals have a higher likelihood of experiencing chronic feelings of sadness, which could even lead to depression. Regardless, pluviophiles continue to smile at the sky as it threatens to rain, and experience heightened feelings of joy when a downpour does begin. Those who have a love for rain are not only content whilst it is raining, these individuals are also shown to be happier and more agreeable as a whole than the average person. 

Happiness researcher Dr. Matt Killingsworth concluded that there exists a direct correlation between happiness and being present. Those who enjoy the moment rather than stressing about the future or the past are objectively more at ease than those who are constantly fretting. Pluviophiles are especially in tune with the present moment and their surroundings. Often, rain can be seen as an irritating barrier due to the fact that it disrupts outdoor activities and causes clouds to block sunlight. However, those who love rain never fret about its potential arrival. They recognize that regardless of what the weather entails, they will find merriment in it. These individuals generally carry this mentality throughout all aspects of their lives as well. Furthermore, a large portion of happiness comes from one’s self-perception and overall confidence. The happiest of individuals are those who prioritize their own happiness above the opinions of others. Pluviophiles run through the rain without any concern for their hair getting wet, their makeup smearing, or how they appear to those around them. They simply allow their love for the rain to drive their impulses and are exponentially happier as a result of it. 

The love for rain which pluviophiles possess also allows them to find beauty in things that others associate with sadness. Rain is typically a weather condition that is used to set the tone of gloom and sorrow in films and literature. It is also used to represent misfortune when it begins to pour randomly and spoil an outdoor event. Those with a love for rain recognize the melancholy that is associated with it. However, these individuals are also more likely to accept this aspect of rainy weather and use the time to introspect whilst enjoying the rain, rather than mulling over the gloom that is commonly associated with it. Through this, pluviophiles are able to find beauty in sadness and are not afraid to explore deeper aspects of themselves. 

While many perceive rain to be an isolating and somber event that causes nothing but an inconvenience. Those who possess a love for rain are ultimately more free-spirited and content with life. The children who never worried about shielding themselves with umbrellas are the same children who grow up to be happy teenagers that were able to maintain their optimism through a global pandemic that caused many to spiral into pessimism. These individuals take any situation with stride, and allow themselves to always see the silver lining within the clouds.