I had been asked that question more times than I could count, especially when I was younger: “Are you a Daddy’s girl? Or a Mommy’s girl?” The answer was always both… or neither. While I love both of my parents dearly, the truth was, I was a Grandma’s girl. I have always been incredibly close to my Grandmother, and I always will be.  

My grandmother, who I call Amma, has been present throughout my entire life. She lives in the same house as my parents and I, and from my childhood years into the present, she has played a significant role towards raising me and shaping me into the person I am today. As a child, Amma did almost everything for me. She would drop me off at school, she would teach me how to read and write, and she would always prepare warm, home cooked meals for me when I would return home. For many years, she helped me with my homework, and sat by my bedside for hours while I was ill. The consistency of her quiet, yet impactful, presence filled my childhood with a sense of tranquility.

Amma is unconventional in many ways. She is loud and outspoken, encouraging those around her to adopt these tendencies as well. Despite growing up in India, during a time when feminism was frowned upon, Amma founded a feminism club and appointed herself as the president. She worked tirelessly to bring positive changes to her community, and to encourage the idea of female empowerment as a whole. She also influenced me in this respect—from an early age, Amma emphasized that I was capable of pursuing anything I wanted to, regardless of my gender. She would turn up her nose at the idea that women should be passive, and soft spoken. As a result of this, she always encouraged me to be loud, and to advocate for myself. 

Education has always been of utmost importance to Amma. She has always had great interest in the courses I am taking and my overall academic performance. From the time I was five years old to the present day, Amma has always been the person I run to with good academic news. Her beaming smile always brings me more joy than the grade itself. Amidst college applications and receiving an incessant influx of news, Amma has been a  cheerleader for me throughout. She waits excitedly for me to tell her good news, and she always provides support whenever I feel particularly swamped with tasks and work to complete. I can always count on Amma to provide me with the motivation to persevere against whatever obstacles are present in my path. 

However, despite her love for education and order, Amma has always found great amusement in my mischief and childhood shenanigans. In elementary school, I would frequently talk in class, and occasionally play pranks on my classmates. I thought my antics were harmless and quite hilarious. Unfortunately, my teachers did not always see it that way. They would frantically call Amma to inform her and would send me home with slips of paper for my parents to sign. The majority of these messages never made it to my parents. Amma would listen to my explanations with great intrigue, and ultimately, she would always laugh. In Amma’s eyes, only she was allowed to scold and discipline me. If anyone else were to attempt this, she would immediately jump to my defense, and emphasize that I was only a child. Amma herself, has always been a child at heart. Consequently, she always found amusement in my antics, and to an extent, would even encourage them. Whenever I was being scolded by my parents, or denied of something, Amma would always step in to mediate and to take my side. She was not only my protector throughout my childhood years, but she was also a friend.

 My strong connection with Amma also strengthened my connection with my culture, and language. Without the consistent influence of my Grandmother, it would have been challenging for me to experience cultural traditions, and gain exposure to my native language. Amma’s presence in my household, as well as in my life, served to shape me into the person that I am today. Her warm smiles and home cooked meals never fail to brighten my day. I consider Amma to be one of the most influential people in my life, and it is for this reason that I will always be my Grandma’s girl.