I have never considered myself a particularly scatterbrained person. Generally, I focus on my tasks and never leave things halfway. Throughout the entirety of my high school career, I have avoided procrastination and completed my assignments the day that they were assigned. Unfortunately, this has changed in the last three weeks. 

Whenever I had initially heard the term “Senioritis” I thought it was an exaggeration of the emotions that students feel throughout their senior year. Moreover, I was frequently asked about my personal experiences with Senioritis throughout my first semester. I felt the same as I always did. As such, I would simply shrug and state that I was unaffected by Senioritis. Now, however, this is no longer the case. 

Committing to college did not feel like a drastic milestone at the moment it happened. There was barely any indecisiveness, or anxiety that came with my decision. I felt content as I clicked the buttons that confirmed that I would attend UIUC in the fall. The realization that I had officially committed to a college did not hit me all at once. It seeped into my daily life slowly, until one day, I found that I could hardly focus on my current academic tasks at all. It was at that specific moment that I understood exactly what Senioritis was. 

As an underclassman, college felt like an abstract concept. I certainly knew that I would be attending a college in the future, however, I believed that I still had a lot of time before that day would come. Junior year and the beginning of Senior year felt this way as well. Sure, I was studying for my SAT exams and filling out college applications, but I still had not fully registered that I would be attending college in a very short amount of time. This realization did not truly occur to me until a few weeks ago. Upon gaining awareness of the fact that I would soon be leaving home, and my family, I felt horrified. Growing up, I always perceived college as something that would happen once I was an adult. I believed that attending college would be the event to conclude my childhood and throw me into the real world. Now, as I grow closer and closer to graduating high school and attending college, I cannot help but feel a sense of sadness that my childhood is quickly coming to an end. 

All of these emotions, combined with the tedious tasks of managing college paperwork, and applying for housing, have made it nearly impossible for me to live in the moment. As much as I am trying to, I simply cannot focus on the present. The high school assignments that used to feel like my top priority, have blurred into distant background noise. While I still complete my tasks with diligence and effort, I cannot help but feel completely detached from the work I am doing. At this point, the only word that can fully encompass how I feel is “scatterbrained.”

One part of me is completely engrossed in the idea of exploring college. I am certainly anxious, but I am also excited. I am curious to learn about the opportunities that are present at UIUC for me to enjoy. However, there are also placement tests, meal plans, and course enrollments that I have to worry about. On top of that, AP exams are looming in the near future, along with final projects and graduation. A combination of all of these things can make it difficult to live in the moment. Nevertheless, I find consolation in the fact that almost all of my peers seem to be experiencing these emotions. 

Enjoying the present moment is hard, especially during chaotic times such as these. Senioritis may have slowly diffused into my brain, however, it is ultimately my decision how I choose to act as a result of this. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way that most seniors do. The final stretch of high school is a strange, yet valuable time. While my brain might be scattered in a million different directions, I can still make the most of my time in high school through patient and consistent efforts. After all, graduation is only a few weeks away!

Scientists believe that smell is the sense that is most closely associated with memory. Experts also say that memories associated with specific smells tend to be old memories that are not frequently thought about. Upon the presence of certain smells, however, these memories resurface in a vivid and detailed way. In other words, all individuals associate certain smells with particular memories. These correlations can sometimes be incredibly random. In my own life, I have certainly noticed that the presence of particular smells floods my mind with vivid memories and emotions. 

The most prominent example that I can think of is the smell of chlorine and sunscreen. While this may seem like a typical scent that one would associate with Summer and swimming, it is much more nuanced for me. When I was younger, I used to participate in Summer camp every year. Towards the end of the school year, I would practically be bouncing with excitement at the prospect of camp approaching in the near future. The scent of chlorine and sunscreen, not only reminds me of these times but also reminds me of the carefree nature of my childhood. This scent allows me to reminisce of a time in which my only responsibility was to put sunscreen on my nose and play in the pool. 

The scent of specific perfumes has this impact on me as well. There was a particular body spray that I used to wear towards the end of freshman year. The laundry detergent that my family used at this time also intermingled with the scent of this spray. This caused my clothes to smell like a combination of these fragrances. Now, when I smell a shirt that I haven’t worn since freshman year, I am immediately transported to the time of quarantine. I immediately associate this scent with boredom and struggling to find popular items in stores. Because of this, I cannot bring myself to use that specific body spray anymore. It feels like an artifact that is supposed to stay in the past, rather than follow me into the present. 

In many ways, specific scents feel like time machines. The moment that they enter my nose, I can feel myself being transported into a different time in my life, and a completely different mentality. The scent of papaya has this influence on me as well. In America, papayas are not commonly consumed. It is difficult to find them in the supermarket, and when found, they are incredibly expensive. In India, however, these fruits are very common. Every time that I have visited India with my family, I have eaten an abundance of papayas. The scent of this fruit immediately transports me to the bustling city of Kolkata, and the wonderful memories that I have there. In recent years, my family has been unable to visit India as frequently as we used to. The subtle aroma of papaya always fills me with a strange combination of nostalgia and longing, as it reminds me of my favorite city. 

This nostalgia can also be found when I step outside in the summertime and smell the morning dew. This scent is always light, sweet, and crisp. Upon smelling it, I immediately feel a sense of freshness and calamity. As a child, I would frequently go on summer walks with my Grandmother in the morning. There was a blackberry bush near my house, where I would frequently pick blackberries with my Grandmother. The scent of morning dew not only transports me to this time but also fills my mouth with the rich flavor of blackberries.

Memories are invaluable things, and often, they can be forgotten amidst the chaos of life. Many times, they lay dormant, and wait for a particular stimulus to trigger them. In my own life, I have certainly noticed that particular scents have served as that stimulus. The emotions that are evoked as a result of this can vary greatly. Nonetheless, our sense of smell allows us to recover forgotten memories and live in the time period that these moments occurred. The partnership of the nose and the brain is an amazing thing. It is more than simply a bodily function. It’s a magical phenomenon that gives us the opportunity to relish the joys of our pasts. It is a time machine.