So, it’s my last blog post. By now, you should know what that means – it’s time to expose another one of my shamelessly weird hobbies. When I’m not planning Jimmy Fallon’s downfall or thinking about how most critically acclaimed movies aren’t as good as animated children’s movies, I open a random word generator and try to come with as bizarre a story as possible from whatever it gives me, and I thought I’d give it another go for the last blog post I will ever write in my life. It’s weird to say that after a whole school year, but oh well. Time goes on.
How this works: Bolded words were randomly generated, and everything else I wrote to connect them. Enjoy!
So I was at the airport, and some guy came up to me saying, “Sir? I think you have a dangerous disease from eating too many cigarettes!” I was completely caught off guard, so I had to think on my feet, and here’s my response: “Who even are you? Have you ever even taken a physics class? Do I look like I have any cigarettes in my possession? I’m a 17 year old child minding my own business in O’Hare International Airport. I am allergic to tobacco, and you come up to me saying I have a cigarette disease? And I’m not even going to comment on the fact that you thought I was eating cigarettes. Even my family wouldn’t stand for this and god knows they can’t even stand me!”
Angry, I stormed off to the bathroom for a moment, and thought about turning this interaction into a fire freestyle rap to perform in the studio. Precisely at that moment, the speaker voice announced the departure of my plane, and I sprinted to the gate so I wouldn’t miss my flight. During my flight, I was trying my best to study economics for my upcoming final.
Supply, demand, GDP, and all the other stuff that I can’t think of right now. But, for some reason, I couldn’t get the cigarette disease guy out of my head. My entire life, I have been building up my reputation like an establishment, with respect being the real wealth that I owned. So yeah, I still don’t know what the NASDAQ is. But at least I have friends! Back to reality, I suffered a near-fatal injury getting off the plane. The flight attendant started playing follow the leader so deboarding wouldn’t become an apocalyptic nightmare, but I accidentally walked into the AP chem titration lab in the back of the plane!
It was an absolute disaster – one person almost lit their hair on fire with a Bunsen burner and someone else who didn’t do his homework was having communication issues with his lab partner and they couldn’t bring their Erlenmeyer flask to the right temperature! Government problems, am I right? Anyways, I walk out of the plane and somehow, straight onto the set of hit American game show, Jeopardy! The category was blood, and at that moment I knew it was a possibility that this was all a dream. But with my good fortune, I got the Daily Double, and oh, was I going all or nothing! The answer was: these look like little bowls and move really fast. Easy! What are frisbees! Nope, it was platelets. I knew I should have paid attention in algebra. Dejected at losing over 3 million dollars, I went to the grocery store, hoping to buy some blueb
erries on sale with efficiency because I just realized I left my headlights on for a week straight, and now I won’t be able to get back to my apartment. At this point, you must be wondering – Anjana, what is wrong with you? Who hurt you so much that week after week after week you write blog post about stupid topic after blog post about stupid topic after blog post about stupid topic. What is the outcome of this story and why will it make my life better in any way? News flash. It won’t. You know how technology is – you start clicking “Generate Random Nouns” on https://randomwordgenerator.com/noun.php and you just – well, you just don’t stop. It’s like you are the star of the movie Possession, only the only thing possessing you is https://randomwordgenerator.com/noun.php. And don’t even get me started on climate change. We (we being literally the government because I have no power in this) have to come to an understanding about what we can all do to help the collective fight against climate change, and more importantly, overpriced airport food. That’s the real enemy. Habitat loss? Mass extinction? Cry me a river. Actually, please do that. They’re all drying up. I think I should release a statement about this on Twitter and pretend to be a D-List celebrity who is just saying this because I am being sponsored by a greenwashing fast fashion company. Or I could pretend to be the president. But I might get in trouble for that one. I just realized I never told you what I bought from the grocery store – chocolate! I went home and started watching reality TV shows on E! because my county has no drama, and I love a good story about people not meeting the requirements for MENSA and going for the next best thing – The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
I watched one of the real housewives get ready for her pre-LASIK eye examination because glasses could make her look over 35 and she’s already over 50 so that could be a problem. 4 hours later, I woke up from my intense sugar-crash nap. The LASIK was a success! As celebration, she goes to her pre-ear surgery consultation because hearing aids could make her look over 60 and she’s already over 80 so that could be another problem.
Wait, how long was I asleep?
Hey Anjana! It is quite literally the last blog of the year. I hope you’re excited! Or not if you like writing. Personally, I sure do enjoy reading the blogs! I haven’t read your blog a lot this year, but I have heard so many good things about it all throughout.
Okay I was reading the title of the blog and I thought that you had actually been accused of eating cigarettes. So this is relieving that it’s rather based on a word generator. I think it’s pretty funny how you write it in first person though, it makes everything seem much more real. I also like the meme you made for your blog, a nice original creation.
Okay this story is literally like a fever dream. Eating cigarettes to freestyle rap to GDP? This is the type of stuff I’d dream up after not sleeping for 18 hours and then falling asleep with a 100 degree fever.
Now we’re getting into the realm of science? I mean, I guess this shows that you’re very studious to include all the school knowledge you’ve learned into this story. The micro macro stuff evoked PTSD though, especially the supply and demand curve lines.
Hi Anjana! I have to say, this doesn’t really happen to me often, but at no point in your blog did I know where it was going. Your blogs are always very entertaining and extremely eye-catching (I couldn’t not click on your last post after seeing the title- I had to see what ChatGPT wrote!). For a second there, I really did think that you were accused of eating cigarettes at O’Hare- and I was very concerned yet also very interested! Even though your story may not be a personal one, I still enjoyed it! I love the idea using a random word generator to build your story! It is a true testament to your creativity. I don’t know what your major is, but may I suggest creative writing? Because I really think you have a career in it! Also, I feel like I should mention your multi-media??? Probably the best I’ve seen on any blog ever. When I write my blogs, I usually go for the nice little family picture or something basic like that, but your graphics truly enhanced your blog (is that a picture of Mr. Kim???) Anyways, as it is the last bllog of the year, I can say that I have read a lot of these. So, I feel that I am qualified in saying you win the prize for most entertaining, most creative, and the best use of pictures! Mr. Williams, if you’re reading this, I think Anjana deserves some kind of gold AP Lit medal!
Hey Anjana,
I was searching for a fun and interesting blog to comment on, and it is safe to say I found one. Once again, I am in awe of your creativity. When I first read your title, I immediately believed that this was a true story but hesitation crept in when I got a flashback to your Jimmy Fallon blog post. Other than the clickbait title, the image that represents your blog enticed me too. I appreciate how you put in the time to customize the images to directly relate to the events happening in the story.
As I was reading your blog, it reminded me of the dreams I experience in REM sleep. Just as you walked to the back of a plane and found a chemistry lab, I flew a bike from Naperville to Michigan in my dream.
I am honestly sad that this is your last blog post ever ):. I only recently discovered your unique and imaginative writing style and it is already ending. Have no fear, after I finish my blog comments I will go back and read all of your posts. For now, I say goodbye and want to wish you good luck with all your story-writing and architecture adventures.
Till next time,
Celina Anwar
I’m not sure what’s more entertaining, your blog posts or their titles.Your ideas are so original and fun to read, so I’m really going to miss your posts. In the beginning, I thought you were actually accused of eating cigarettes at O’Hare, and for some reason I immediately thought that it must have been Jimmy Fallon, which really shows the impact that your posts have had on me.
Your story felt like one of those Roald Dahl/Louis Sachar fever dream books like Wayside School, Lamb to the Slaughter, or Holes. This actually seems like something that would be in some strange children’s book that you’d find at an elementary school book fair and parents would say that there’s a deeper meaning within it. You should try to write a novel or short story based on randomly generated words. I would definitely buy it.
I will say, the academic memes really caught me off guard. I didn’t expect to see a macroeconomics graph and a normal curve there. It was even more surprising to see you gaslight us into thinking that you were Mr. Kim. Your titration meme was also great, so remind me to explain it to you later.
Anjana, I literally hate when I get accused of eating cigarettes. That once happened to me and I was like “Hell Nah!”. Unfortunately, everything else in your real, raw, and candid blog did not happen to me. I must say your blogs are my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE because I never know what’s going to happen ,and the story always takes a turn for the better. You know how there’s like that chart where it shows options like … chaotic neutral, chaotic bad, chaotic evil, chaotic good, etc….? Your blogs are chaotic good in the best way possible. I never know how to classify and good dream from a nightmare. Bumping into a titration lab and stepping onto Jeopardy would make me piss my pants but it also seems entertaining. What would you classify this made-up dream as – a nightmare or a solid dream? Anyways, AIRPORT FOOD is something that I have extreme beef with. How is it reasonable to sell starbucks for EIGHT dollars? Who is encouraging and allowing this behavior. Also, amusment theme park food! I just went to Universal and a burger and a drink cost TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS. What the frick!!!! Anyways, I enjoyed reading this blog and I will truly miss all of your blogs .
Hey Anjana! Every two weeks, I go through the same dilemma of wondering whose blog post I should comment on, and every two weeks, I get dragged back into yours. I cannot explain how alluring each and every one of your posts, from title to content to your use of imagery, are to me. I really wanted to try commenting on a new blog, but I feel like I need to do this.
Somehow, I fall for the titles of your post every time. I can’t believe I have managed to get clickbaited on the D203 WordPress server more than once. Although every post has been different from what I’ve been expecting, it always ends up better than what I imagined.
This demonstrates how creative your mind is to form all these enthralling stories that somehow reflect who you are. To be honest, I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if this story were true. Now that I think about it, I feel like I have seen you munching on some cigarettes here and there. Maybe it’s just my hindsight bias, or maybe that guy was right. Honestly, my mind did kind of shut down when I saw the term “Erlenmeyer flask” due to how traumatized I am by lab instructions. I love how your posts spiral into a certain type of insanity that I feel like I can understand a bit too well.
Great job with this story, and I will miss your posts so much!