And then there was one last blog. I was debating whether to go down a path of nostalgia of the past 17 years living in Naperville or talk about some random mundane thing, but since the word count requirement is 750 words, why not do both or better yet, combine them!
Quick summary of blog: First, life is a simulation. Second, we are graduating.
Every time I try to reflect on my past four years in high school, my mind goes blank. It’s not that I am a social recluse who has experienced nothing in the past four years, ( that is up for debate, just ask my mom) but it’s just kind of like there are so many small, defining moments that I’ve experienced that I’ve just gradually forgotten about. The feelings I’ve had of these memories at NNHS are still there but the memories themselves are not. I think about how we will remember something for the last time and then never think of it again. Is that memory still lingering somewhere in the brain? If not, is it just lost to nothingness? That is a factor as to why I think life might be a simulation. Are we able to genuinely rely on our memories or minds in perceiving our reality? I think not.
I like to think about Plato’s Allegory of the Cave in which it is imagined that prisoners are chained together in an underground cave. Behind the prisoners is a fire and puppets that project shadows onto a wall in front of the prisoners. The prisoners cannot see anything behind them and for their whole lives, they have only been able to look directly in front of them at the shadows on the wall. Their whole reality is the shadows. They have never learned what a wall, fire, or shadow is. They simply believe that their experience of watching shadows on a wall is a universal experience for humans. Their minds wouldn’t even be able to grasp or think of the idea that this false reality is, well, false. If a prisoner’s chains got loosened
on accident one day, a simple one inch more of head movement would have their whole reality crumbling. One more inch of head movement allows them to see that they have been looking at a wall for their entire life. Will they question what more to reality there is? If they never even learned what a wall is, how is their brain rationalizing their new perspective? Similarly, how will we ever know if our perceived reality is our real reality? If we were to come into contact with something that is generally accepted as impossible, like a purple pig that could speak English , would we believe it or not? Would we allow our entire reality to come into question? If we had never seen that pig then we would have never even imagined a reality where that existed. It’s like those Tiktoks that are like “this is the first time you’re seeing spaghetti in a 14 pound bowling ball being shoved into a library basement”. Obviously we’ve never thought of that before, but now our reality, however minorly, has changed because we came into contact with that Tiktok.
What I am trying to say is that our reality is shaped by the bubble we live in. I am sure there are memories at North that I have forgotten, but nevertheless just being in this school with its social dynamics has put me in this exact reality where I am typing on my chromebook about this topic for an AP LIT blog with these exact emotions and thoughts. Does that make sense?
I think of our perception of reality as ,essentially, a super focused lens. The cumulative experiences we’ve faced in our “bubble” form our reality. For example, every day on my commute to school, I have to take a right onto North Mill Street road to get to Naperville North. Rin and I carpool and she can attest that we have very strong emotions towards the green arrow right turn sign into North (the green right arrow is literally 3 seconds long. How is anyone expected to turn in that short of a time? I have maybe gotten 6 tardiness because of the stupid green arrow!). We hold all this anger and frustration towards this green symbol because ,despite how minuscule, because it is largely relevant to our current academic performance and attendance. Yet, the second we graduate, the relevance of this traffic light becomes naught. Next thing you know, one day I’ll take one last right turn onto Mill and never think of it again.
Hello Ashley, this is such a creative blog post. Your blog posts always make me laugh, so thank you. Haha yes…we are graduating. It is so scary that we are approaching a time in our lives where we have the least amount of responsibility yet we are about to be fully on our own soon. I agree- I feel like sometimes in the moment I will believe that whatever happened will have a huge affect on my future and I will remember it in the future-but I usually forget it and move on with my life. I feel like high school represents that very well. If we did bad on a quiz or a test, we usually assume the worst but it all works out in the end. I think you bring up an interesting though of living in a simulation-are we really living in the present moment? Wow the plato’s allegory of the cave example really took a turn, it makes us question why and how we live our lives in a certain way. Haha I agree I hate that green arrow-it turns yellow so fast! It is so crazy how graduation is in less than 20 school days! Overall, I love this blog post, and good luck on your future endeavors!
Hey Ashley! Last blog of the year which is a little sad now that I’ve written about it to two other people. Your blog title especially begs the question of the future and leaving the past: now what? But anyhow, I hope you’re excited to finally be done with 750 word counts and 11:59 submission deadlines! Or upset that you won’t be able to write about things on your mind anymore.
I like the way you think. Reaching the word count while exerting the least amount of effort is an art in itself, but I’m excited to see what you’ll do.
If you want to talk about social recluse just look at me. I remember back in elementary school you would have to give me social classes because I was so awkward! Although I’d think that over the years I’ve gotten better and I’m less of an actual social recluse but more of one that’s funny to think about as one.
It is interesting to think about if the memories we had here even existed if we can’t remember them. It reminds me of “if a tree falls and nobody hears it, did it really fall at all?”
I really like your map oc.
Ashley,
I’ve also experienced your realization that high school has been composed of small, enjoyable moments that I’ve caught myself forgetting. I recently had to fill out a google form that asked me my favorite memory at North and I could not think of one. It wasn’t that I detested every second of being at North because I’ve thought to myself on multiple occasions how my senior has been the most fun I’ve had in my whole high school career. I don’t think these memories are lost, I just think they’re really foggy and become more blurry as more time passes and more details are lost. I really like how you tied Plato’s Allegory of the Cave into your blog. The way you describe the cave dwellers’ continuing decay of their reality as their shackles are loosened was a great way of explaining how our little bubble that we live in shapes our perspective and understanding of reality. I think a great example of this within our lives relates to your right hand turn on Mill St. I come from east on Ogden and always make a left hand turn. I had never once considered that people were coming to school from the opposite direction and turning right. It seems that at least for me, my personal bubble is even smaller than one would expect.
Hi Ashley! Happy last blog of the year! Not that these were my favorite things to do, but it is a little bittersweet that I will never again read an Ashley-Chen written blog! We will never have to write a 750 word blog by Thursday at 11:59 on our lil Chromebooks! Your last line really got me- we won’t even know it, but in this season of endings (but new beginnings, of course), we will all do something that we’ve become so accustomed to for the very last time. At one point or another, we will sit at our desks for the last time, talk to our teachers for the last time, and walk through these halls for the very last time. It’s crazy! We’ve (or at least me, I don’t know about you) been in District 203 for the last thirteen years of our lives, and its hard to wrap my head around the fact that its coming to an end. I think this concept was so nicely illuminated by your explanation of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. There is a big world outside our “cave”, and the walls will soon crumble, changing our understanding of the world immensely. We can’t begin to fathom all of the culture, experience and life that exists because we are so accustomed to our reality and the perspective we have grown up with. Thank you for sharing your ideas, and I will miss your blogs! So slay, so long!
Hi Ashley.
Thank you for the summary at the beginning of the blog. I appreciated it all the more when I realized that your blog was more philosophical than I expected.
I don’t think about it too much since I just live with nothing in my head for most of the day, but I do kind of agree with your feelings about your time at North. While I do have some specific memories of pivotal moments, most of it is just a haze. I’m most definitely a different person now than I was 4 years ago, but I can’t tell anybody exactly why. I’ll boil it down to learning the limit of meanness that I can be and still have friends, and also being absolutely broken down by this school.
I don’t know if it’s the reason, but I’ll attribute most of my growth or perhaps emotional devolution to the teachers at this school. For the most part, I think my experience with teachers has been positive, but I’ve had a pretty hard time with some of the classes I’ve taken. While I enjoyed most of my teachers with a few clear exceptions, many of their classes also battered me. Again though, I only remember a few examples, most of it is the general feeling of stress I had whenever I had a big exam or project.
Thanks for sharing Ashley!
Hey Ashley! To start off I would like to say I completely agree with your statement that life is a simulation, but I do not feel comfortable with the idea that we are graduating! I still remember hearing Adore You by Harry Styles play everywhere while the hydroflask + puka shell necklace trend was in full swing right before school shut down due to Covid. When I see things from 2019, I think “Oh! That was just last year,” but when I see things from 2021, I think, “Man! That was so long ago,” insert crying laughing emoji!
I love thinking about the idea of an actual reality versus our perceived reality. We will never understand a reality outside of our own perceived one, so we should do better with utilizing our own perspective to our advantage. If you assume everything in your life is good, then your reality will always be good, and vice versa. Although it’s impossible to always have a good view of life, and sometimes a more realistic approach will benefit others around you, I find it important to keep striving for this idea, especially in everyday life.
I also think about how there will be a last time doing everything. I like being mindful of these lasts, but there are so many that I feel like it’s better to let life move on with a sort of blissful ignorance.
Really thought-provoking post!