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The final blog! I remember logging onto Zoom for every class on my first day of high school, and so suddenly, it was the last. We look back to how much we have grown in these four years, and how our friends and teachers shaped us, hopefully all for the better. I’ve learned many lessons over these years and I think this is the perfect time to share them.

First, let’s talk about the course; AP Lit itself. I’ve always wanted to grow as a reader, and this class was the perfect opportunity. Reading a wide variety of books, some of which are not the most exciting to read (As I Lay Dying), but some offer incredible new perspectives on various topics. I however didn’t use this class to my advantage with reading especially. I always rushed the readings which didn’t let me learn and grow as a reader as much as I would have liked. One of the most important things I did learn however was about writing; not all of it has to be formal. Writing is a tool to express yourself, so write how you feel.

My favorite blog was the one about NYT games. During the first semester, I picked up the habit of playing all the NYT games, mainly Connections, wordle, and Mini. It was a fun hobby that didn’t take much time at all, and I was able to compete with my friends. All I wrote about was how such a small hobby had such a big impact on me. Writing blogs was a great way for me to appreciate the little things in my life that I often would overlook. The writing was nowhere near my best piece of writing, but it was a greatly effective one.

Moving on; advice I’ve learnt during my four years.

Starting with the most important one: value the journey. We all have many goals we always want to accomplish, but once we reach it we look at what’s next. We become stuck in an endless cycle of unfulfillment. The real value is what we gain from the journey itself. Always try 

to accomplish your goals, but slow down, and enjoy the entire way there. A goal of summiting a mountain, and the happiness that comes with it can instantly disappear by thinking of another mountain to climb. Cherishing the journey itself makes it much more valuable and important.

Second; take risks. By risks, I don’t mean irresponsible risks, but rather ones that extend our potential—maybe taking some harder classes that you once wouldn’t, beginning investing, or even picking a new hobby. We are always given choices in our lives, there is no way of knowing if one is better than the other, so we should be grateful for the opportunities we get, and jump at them. This ties into the voices novel I read; The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga. To get past his situation he takes numerous risks to become a man of his own, a lifelong goal.

Anyway, take it easy slow down, and experience life as it comes!

 

Most of us are pretty much committed to our post-graduation plans and are having a hard time paying any attention to high school. I have been experiencing a ridiculous amount of burnout without actually putting much effort into anything school-related. Coming into senior year I thought senioritis wouldn’t be too bad, something I lived with through all the years of my high school. I could not have been more wrong.

 

While I had a better state of mind and focus for school during the first semester of senior year (primarily because I didn’t get into a college yet). I tried to keep my grades and effort into any extracurriculars at a decent level. After I got rejected from a school I would have wanted to go to, I became slightly disheartened and a little more focused starting the second semester. It’s a Friday, and I’m sitting down in my math class waiting for the bell to hit 3:10. I get a notification that there has been an update in my student portal for a school that was high up on my list. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t think. I waited to get home and then opened it, and I was in!

Over the next couple of days, I realized that my grades weren’t the most important anymore (unless it was a huge drop). I began doing the bare minimum for all my classes, barely studying, if at all, for some of my tests. Especially after spring break, I was pretty much checked out of my classes. I went out with my friends quite often and skipped a lot of homework, math especially. Despite all of us feeling this way, it would be worthwhile to keep up with school for a little longer. Here are some tips that would be beneficial given that we are now (or soon will be) adults.

Keeping up with previous extracurriculars can sometimes be a pain. I rarely show up to my scholastic bowl practices every week. It is worthwhile to continue some of those extracurriculars especially if they help maintain discipline or align with a passion. I continue to take part in a non-profit I am involved with mainly because I love the work we do (refurbishing and donating laptops and such to underfunded institutions), so I continue to show up and be involved.

AP Exams! These are generally the most painful for me; it’s the end of the year and these exams always carry weight. While these exams may not matter on a transcript, college credit can prove to be extremely beneficial, saving a bunch of money and time in college. I haven’t started studying for my exams yet, but writing this blog reminded me to get started as soon as possible.

Investing! One of the biggest perks, and responsibilities, is investing smartly. Investing early provides the opportunity to take on more risk, generally providing higher returns in the long run. The key word is Long-run. In my opinion, opening up a Roth IRA should be number one on the list. Roth IRAs are essentially a retirement account that grows your money in a tax-free manner (when cashed out past a certain age). In that ETFs are always a good bet, especially in achieving long-term wealth/goals. I mostly look at tech-based ETFs like VOO, but always research before investing.

It can be easy to become disorganized, especially in school. It is well worth it to continue building on good habits, like staying organized, that will carry on into college and well into your career. I find having a clean room to be the best first step to being organized and being in a better mind space to work. I usually set reminders on my phone or keep a physical notepad to track my assignments and their due dates. As of recently, I haven’t kept that notepad updated, which led to some late assignments and procrastinating much more than usual. As I’ve been getting back to using it, I have seen some improvements in my organization.

Something often overlooked is spending time with family. My college is a plane ride away from home so I won’t be visiting as often as I’d like to. Visiting only during lengthier breaks like Spring, Summer, and Winter. Many of us are in the same situation, so it is important to remember to spend time with family any chance we get.

Starting with March Madness! Last year March Madness started more than a week earlier than this year, so I wasn’t able to watch some of the earlier rounds due to school. Since the Spring break has perfectly aligned with earlier rounds (the most exciting ones), I can finally watch all the games at home. Last year was full of surprises in terms of the progression of teams. Purdue and Arizona ranked 1 and 2 respectfully, were both first-round exits and ruined many brackets (mine included). I had Arizona making it up to the Sweet 16, but Princeton unfortunately came to my ruin. However, it was fun to watch such a big upset, especially coming from an Ivy League team. Purdue was the other team that destroyed my bracket by losing to Fairleigh Dickinson in yet another big upset. Purdue continues to disappoint in big moments, so it was a learning lesson. This year, I will likely have Purdue losing in the second, at most third. UConn however led me to success with the bracket, winning the championship. They placed me at 93 thousand of the 20 million brackets, setting me in the 99.6 percentile to end the season. Needless to say, I hope this year will be just as exciting if not more than last year’s. While we all wish for a great bracket, I love the upsets and competitiveness so much more. 

Another big to-do is spending time with friends. Hanging out with friends is one of my favorite pastime activities. Glad to say I have made some wonderful friends despite only being in Naperville since freshman year (the first year also didn’t count because of online schooling). Since my parents are likely going to move out of Illinois after I graduate, I won’t be heading to Naperville during my college breaks. Since my intended university is also far away from here, it only makes it harder to come back. While I definitely will see my friends during and after university, it makes it significantly harder. So before we all leave, I’d love to build on some lasting memories to look back to. 

Cooking! There is nothing as soothing and warmth that comes with a good home-cooked meal. While I find myself eating so much fast food, especially since senior year with the off-campus privileges, I always prefer a nice home-cooked meal. Since sophomore year, I developed a sort of love for cooking. It started with baking a simple cake, to making tiramisu. From making a simple pasta to orange chicken. As much as I gained this sort of love for cooking, I haven’t necessarily delved deep into it, especially with the time I put in. I always save many recipes on Instagram, to use them as soon as I can, but never end up getting to them. Over the break, I want to spend some more time in the kitchen. I find myself eating Nashville hot chicken in many fast food places, I might as well give it a shot at home. A Crème Brûlée is a dessert I’ve always wanted to make but always put off because I never made the time. I would start with some easier dishes over the break and then build on my skills in the kitchen, and to develop my newfound passion. 

There is one thing on this list I dread, AP exams. While I wish that I could be carefree about the exams and not study too much, the credits I could gain this year particularly would put me ahead in college. Most of us are unfortunately in this very predicament. If I don’t get to the actual studying part of the plan over break, I do want to make it a point to at least create a schedule on how and when I would study for each of my exams. 

Last but not least; working out! I’ve had a very inconsistent schedule of working out ever since I began going to the gym. I skip a day because I procrastinated for a test, or another day because I got less sleep from procrastinating for a test or any 100 other reasons to do so. As soon as I finish this hectic week, I will follow through with a consistent schedule to head to the gym, whether it be before school or later in the evening. 

I have to say I created quite an ambitious list of activities, but a feasible list. 

Poem Annotations

This is the fourth poem I’ve read from Cummings, and I have yet to make much progress in understanding them. The structure of this poem however looked a lot more manageable than any of the others; three simple stanzas. With Cummings, however, there is never a “simple” anything, no matter the structure. Fortunately, this poem has real words, never mind the meaning, the words are at least understandable, contrary to some of the other Cummings poems. The confusion immediately begins with the title, [what if a much of a which of a wind]. 

A strategy I often find myself using in heavy stanza poems is to isolate them. Specifically, if they start with something similar. This poem had each stanza start with a “what if,” so each stanza could be a new thought. 

The first stanza kept bringing in an idea of wind, and maybe the ruins that come with (“bloodies with dizzying leaves the sun” “yanks immortal stars awry”), prompting me to think about the potential negatives that come with wind. The use of metaphors with the sun and immortal stars speaks to the intensity of the wind, so I then thought maybe it was a tornado. My hunches were just that, I had no confirmation of any of my thoughts. Fortunately, as I kept reading, I could come to a strong conclusion on the first stanza, and maybe the poem overall. The line, “the single secret will still be man” made me think of the single cause being man, or mankind. That was an easy answer, the main fault of mankind, is the destruction of our planet. With this in mind, I reread the first stanza. Despite some confusion on word choice and placement, I gathered a general point of the consequences of the destruction of our planet. I then carried this thought to the next stanza. 

The second stanza brings up wind on the first line but immediately divulges into sleet and snow. Disasters with snow and sleet; blizzards. This entire thought process started on a tangent, and I was too far gone to start another one. The idea of blizzards or snow storms kept me fairly confident, and so I continued. “strangles valleys by ropes of thing and stifles forests in white ago,” surely that is snow I thought. On the next line, I noticed a pattern. “Blow king to beggar and queen to seem” in the first stanza, and “Blow hope to terror;blow seeing to blind.” I identified the pattern, but I have no idea what it means. Hope to terror, seeing to blind, showing the complete opposites. The “blow” seems out of place, but then again, it’s a Cummings poem. Without the “blow,” each of the sentences shows a positive to its complete negative, suggesting the dire change/destruction to the planet. The last line of the stanza however created some confusion. “It’s they shall cry hello to the spring.” Does it suggest that the spring will come sooner than we would expect, or that it would cease to exist, or something else? 

The third stanza begins with “what if a dawn of a doom of a dream,” suggesting an end of the world moment. “Bites this universe in two” symbolizes something of great intensity and power. I thought of possible things that could bite this universe in two. An earthquake (another natural disaster), didn’t necessarily align completely with the idea. A BOMB! A manmade creation that rips the world in two, sounded about right. 

The last line solidified my tangents. “the most who die,the more we live.” This was fortunately an immediate giveaway. From the poem, people equals destruction, and the less destruction the better.                                              

On my first read, I avoided the parenthesis, much like how we did in class one day. Finally, I read the poem again. This time, I looked at the parenthesis, and like any Cummings poem I’ve read, the parenthesis is a simple expansion of thought, not needed, but helps divulge deeper into the topic.

Overall, Cummings wrote this poem with a vision. From my perspective and juvenile knowledge of analysis with poems, I thought of the poem coming with a strong attitude against human behavior. It goes on to talk about the pure destruction that comes out of humans’ time in the world, and that the less in number we are the better the world would be. The confusing words and their placements speak to the depth and meaning of Cummings and an author, but also his work and the meaning behind it. 

 

The Ravens have had an unbelievable season with Lamar Jackson being the MVP favorite. This comes shortly after Lamar was re-signed to the Ravens after almost being left as a free agent because of his salary demands. It’s safe to say it’s money well spent for the Ravens. They finished the regular season with a stellar record of 13-4, even more significant after starting mostly 2nd string players on their last game against the Steelers. The Ravens greatly owe their success to Lamar Jackson and their rookie WR pickup Zay Flowers. After clinching the number 1 spot in their division, they got the bye-week, then defeated the Texans (with their exceptional season with CJ Stroud).

The Chiefs had a slow start to their season. They lost their opening game to the Lions and some other important games through missed pass completions during the end game (Kadarius Toney). Kelce was also slow to start the season but eventually came back up. Although his end to the regular season was slightly disappointing as he missed the 1000 yards for the regular season, only being away by a couple of yards. The Chiefs also had an excellent rookie pickup, WR Rashee Rice. He consistently played well, even being considered a number 1 receiver for the team ahead of Kelce. Despite their season-ending 11-6, they showed pure dominance against the dolphins (temperature was definitely a factor). They played the Bills in the second round and won, but nearly went to overtime if Bass (Bills kicker) had made the field goal. The Chiefs remain undefeated against the Bills in the postseason with Mahomes as their QB, coming as a surprise after the dominant Bills win against the Chiefs in the regular season matchup.

The Lions are up next. The Lions have been one of the worst teams in the NFL prior to the start of this season. So their start to the season with a win against the Chiefs was greatly celebrated. This comes as their brilliant rookie picks in the draft, taking Jahmyr Gibbs and Sam LaPorta (RB and TE). They showed amazing talent throughout the season, showing promising talent for the future in the NFL, and a great one for the Lions. LaPorta became a prime receiver on the team catching numerous touchdowns and making big plays throughout the season (definitely helping my fantasy football team). Gibbs assisted Montgomery with their run game, making their offense one of the most dominant in the league. They had many breakout games throughout the season that led them to win their first division title since 1991. The Lions arguably had the most improved season, finishing 9-8 last year, and 3-13-1 the year before. Dan Campbell (head coach) has been through the bad and the good. whether they win or lose, they’ve had a widely successful season, and can only improve from here on out.

And finally the 49ers, my favorite. Born in California, the 49ers always have a special place in my heart. As much as I “support” the Bears, the 49ers are my true team. After back-to-back
heartbreaking NFC championship losses, this year is hopefully our year. After assembling the Avengers, it only makes sense to make the Super Bowl. Having Aiyuk, Kittle, and Deebo as receivers, with McCaffrey at RB, and a stacked defense definitely helped our chances. Our regular season was quite a success, except for some disappointing losses. Beating the nearly undefeated Eagles showed the true capability of the 49ers offense and defense. The defense especially improved after trading for Chase Young mid-season to help with defense, especially Bosa. Bosa being doubled-teamed throughout allowed Young to get more tackles and place more pressure on the opposing O-line. Another key player to note is Brock Purdy, he has more than beat the “system QB” allegations as he has proven he’s much more than that, being the runner-up for the MVP conversations. Most of this was written prior to the games, but some of it after the games. Although I’m disappointed to see the Ravens lose after such immense success in the season, the Chiefs played well and seem to be a strong team to be playing in the Super Bowl. My devastation and frustration in the first half of the 49ers game thankfully proved to be shortlived as we were quick to catch up to the score and go beyond it. 

I sit down, fire up my Chromebook, and open a blank document. It is a Friday, sometime around 10 pm, and I begin writing. Despite putting off the blogs until the last minute, I looked forward to writing them. No limits in terms of a topic, just writing whatever was off the top of my head at that given moment. One day it was about the NYT games I play, or when I had a conversation with my friend about ChatGPT, maybe it was my life story. The limited time I had to finish up my endless thoughts was the perfect end to a tiring school week.

I enjoyed writing the earliest reading memory the most. The assignment was simple, what is your earliest reading memory, only, the question wasn’t so simple. This question however forced me to look back to my oldest memories, perhaps ones that were on the brink of being forgotten. My favorite book as a child, Asterix and Obelix, was almost forgotten, until this assignment. After some digging, I was able to relive the joyous memories I had when I used to read these books as a kid. This then helped me ponder about how we as humans obviously have a limited memory capacity, so we often forget our oldest, and perhaps most memorable memories of our lives. The good ones, the bad ones, are all gone. In a day with so much technology, much of our lives, or memories can be recorded. But in the process of recording, we often forget to live the moments as they come to us. Watching a sunset, waves crashing at a beach, a kid walking for the first time; sure they are good memories to keep a record of, but putting the phone aside and taking it all in is a sure way to have the ability to perfectly relive a moment, until it might be erased however.

As a writer, I think I have reached a new means of expressing my emotions or even just my opinions in a more fluent manner. When I just began writing, it was so daunting, but through the course of this semester, I’ve gained a great number of skills when it comes to writing. Something I’ve been dreading might just become a new passion.

Everything we like, dislike, hate, or love, has a list. I love Nashville hot chicken sandwiches, so I have a list; Fry the coop taking the top spot, Dave’s Hot Chicken follows it, and then Hangry Joe’s. Lists were a common topic among many blogs, one of the most favorite types of blogs to read. There was a blog about NYT games (which I then followed later), and one about the best spots to go for off-campus lunch. These lists helped me gain a little more insight into people’s interests and opinions about a wide array of topics.

So what do I take away from this semester? This semester was a disaster regarding my grades, the effort I put into schoolwork outside of school was dangerously low. Many call it senioritis, and while that is true, I think of it as a mini failure in my life where I lost sight of what matters to me, especially if it was something I might’ve disliked but felt it was important. While most of my collegeapps have been submitted, and a great percent of them don’t require midyear, I weaned off the effort I put into school. After getting rejected from my ED (although it was a huge reach), I immediately realized my mistake. So close to the finish line (high school), and I didn’t give it my best. I let off the push while in first place and lost the race at the line.

 

Despite some of my shortcomings, I learned a great deal and made great new memories. I’m going to pick up the pace in the following semester, despite it mattering the least. I also want to continue writing these blogs, whether they are published or not, once every other week or even once every week. These blogs gave me unfettered access to my creativity, and are a sure way of me being able to continue utilizing said creativity.

Most of us know what AI is, or at least its general functionality and purpose. I decided to dig deeper into my knowledge of how the field began, primarily the contribution of arguably the most popular AI company: OpenAI.

On November 30, 2022, OpenAI released an AI model called ChatGPT. This model gained huge amounts of popularity among people worldwide shortly after its release. People use this model to write code, write emails, clarify complex topics, debug their code, or even write essays. Used for personal reasons, professional ones, and even educational ones.

Jumping into the history of the company. OpenAI first began in 2015 when multiple investors pledged over $1 billion to the venture. These investors included influential figures such as Elon Musk, and influential companies such as AWS and Infosys. OpenAI continued to make small advancements in the developing field. In 2018 however, Musk resigned from the board of directors because of potential conflicts with OpenAI and his own AI developments in Tesla’s self-driving cars. In 2019 they transitioned from a non-profit to a capped for-profit (a cap on the amount of profit they can take). Following their developments, they were able to release ChatGPT (after several previous non-free AI models) for free. This caused a boom in their revenue, allowing for more research into the thriving and greatly advancing field.

The AI field is an evolving one; the growing number of AI companies, but also the investments being made into the field are increasing at an exponential rate. OpenAI is mostly responsible for the recent boom in interest in AI as the ChatGPT model was the most successful AI model to be released for free. This widespread interest also increased curiosity among people, leading to a greater number of people studying artificial intelligence and even the theory behind it. OpenAI is also responsible for essentially unifying the artificial intelligence field. Prior to the launch of GPT, there lacked any common goal from AI companies. Following it, however, most of the scattered research has since been unified.

This company however was not immune to controversy, even from the key figures in this company.

On November 17, 2023, Sam Altman (CEO and Founder) was removed from the board citing a “lack of confidence” in him. Following his removal, many key OpenAI researchers resigned. Microsoft was then quick to pick up Altman (although they already own 49% of the start-up) to do their own AI research. After many employees threatened to join Microsoft unless Altman was back at OpenAI, the board was pressured to reappoint him as operational CEO. Some say that Altman was fired because of the company’s advancements into newer and more cutting-edge AI models, such as Q* (pronounced Q-Star).

Q* is an AI model created by OpenAI that largely focuses on logical and mathematical reasoning. Existing AI models focus on the knowledge that already exists (calculus among others), simply executing the knowledge at an exponentially faster rate than humans would. Q* looks beyond that. This model is expected to look much beyond that, to the lengths of creating its own mathematical/logical reasoning in order to solve problems. “If you can create an AI that can solve a problem where you know it hasn’t already seen the solution somewhere in its vast training sets, then that’s a big deal, even if the maths is relatively simple,” said Altman regarding the developing Q*.

This however raised security flags because the pace of increasing AI security was far outpaced by the development of this model. This is why Altman is rumored to be fired. Microsoft President Brad Smith argues that there are no dangerous breakthroughs with this model or research place OpenAI is currently at, saying that it’s going to take years, if not decades, where computers are more powerful than people. He however still suggests that emphasis be placed on the security level of artificial intelligence.

As we continue to incorporate artificial intelligence into our everyday lives, this field is only going to become a more vital and developed one in the coming years (if we have not reached that point already). I am excited to see how the unreleased AI models will play out in the future and hopefully educate us just as much. Much like how our futures will integrate with that of artificial intelligence, being incorporated into our college careers and further.

I also can’t help but think of the movie Terminator (and other such movies) where artificial systems are taken too far, possibly to the end of humanity. Hopefully, we avoid such an event!

It’s 9 p.m. and the competition begins. It could be a homework assignment or a test I am in the middle of preparing for, everything stops. I pull out my phone, open the NYT games app, and wait as the crossword for the day loads in. 29 seconds! And I dive back into whatever I was previously doing. I check my phone an hour later, thinking I have won the mini for the day, and then someone does it in 15 seconds. Despite not being my favorite NYT game, the mini is something I look forward to every day. Especially on Fridays at 9 p.m. when the Saturday’s mini loads in, and Saturday’s mini isn’t so mini, it’s a midi. Rating-wise, I think this game is a 10/10 as it is a great way to compete against friends while learning some interesting words. And that’s the last I open the app for the night. 

 

I wake up, drink some water, and pull out NYT games again. This time, my challenges are the Wordle, Spelling Bee, and the Connections.

Starting with the Connections. The Connections is my favorite game as it requires creativity and most importantly confidence. The game rules are quite simple: there are 16 squares (each with a word), the task being to create groupings of 4, you are also allotted 4 mistakes. If you happen to select 3 of the boxes correct and one wrong, a message pops up, “One Away”. Each of the 4 groupings has a level of difficulty (Green, Yellow, Blue, and Purple, in order from least to most difficult). The groupings can be as simple as Unchanging (Even, Level, Stable, Steady), but can also be as obscure as Royal (Jelly, Family, Flush, We). My friends and I constantly compete with each other in Connections, usually ending with me winning, and my friend Jack losing. 

Puzzle #146

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Next up: the Wordle. I would assume everyone has a rough idea of the game, if not, you get 6 words to guess the 5-letter word the game picks. If the word you guess has a green letter, the letter of the word you are trying to guess is exactly there. A yellow one means that the letter exists in the word, but not at the location you guess. I start off with one of two words: Adieu (covers most vowels), and Ocean (vowels and common letters). I usually get a good start, a green and a yellow, or just a yellow, and sometimes, nothing. Since I’ve been playing this game for a while, I average around 3-4 guesses per word. This average however can easily be offset by some luck or the lack of it. My personal best is 2 guesses, which I’ve gotten a couple of times. I’ve also however not been able to guess the word sometimes, “Mummy” for one. Wordle is another great way to compete with your friends while learning to think critically. 

Wordle 869 3/6

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Finally; the Spelling Bee. You are given 6 regular letters and one yellow one. The yellow letter must be used in all words, while the other 6 can be used, but doesn’t have to be. Since I don’t subscribe to NYT games, the number of words I can create is limited. I start off by trying to find the pangram (using all given letters in a word). The longer the word is, the more points you earn, and combining the length with a pangram gives you the most points. While the spelling bee is fun, it can sometimes be time-consuming as my range of vocabulary is either limited or my brain takes time to process when puzzles are organized in such a way. 

If I am still looking for a challenge sometime during the day, I start the Letter Boxed. This game is my least favorite one. It requires time and thinking extremely creatively. There is a square, with 3 letters on each side. Your goal is to find words that cover all the letters by the end. The challenge is to cover all letters in 5 or 6 words. While putting together a word, you cannot select two letters next to each other on the word from the same side. And each word you create, you must create your next word starting from the last letter of the previous. Each letter can be used any number of times. Worst game. 

NYT games are great if you want to build some competition among your friends while also learning something new. Most of the games are also not too time-consuming. Have fun!  

 

It’s that time of the year when I set aside most of my Sunday to simply watch football.  After an agonizing wait, we finally get to see our favorite players and teams play football. While football itself is fun to watch, there’s something that kicks this to another level; fantasy football. I get together with many friends to form a league, and there begins the competition. 

The first step is gathering people to form a league or leagues. This takes place very much like recruiting, picking the people who enjoy football and plan to compete with maximum effort. The rules are then discussed and the league is finalized. As soon as the league is formed, the draft date is set. The draft date is voted on based on the members’ availability, and the date with the most availability is then selected. If anyone were to miss that date, it would lead to an auto draft (which most likely ends up being a disadvantage to them). 

Then the games begin…

The fantasy week goes along with the regular football schedule; the week starts on Thursday. I usually finish most of the work I need to do before the start of the game, so my full attention is usually on the game. I pull out the fantasy app and begin the rollercoaster of emotions. Touchdown…for the player against me. Interception…for the team playing against me! This is just a preview of a typical Sunday. 

On Sundays, the games begin at 8:30 a.m. and last up until 10 p.m. This means that if there is any work I need to finish, I should finish it on Saturday if I need my complete attention. If I were working on an assignment on Sunday during the games, I never find myself as focused on my work as I should be. I constantly pull out my phone to check the scores of my several teams. Since I am a part of 3 different leagues; it takes a lot of effort and time to keep up with each of them (constantly trying to trade players and switching players back and forth from the bench to start). 

On one Sunday, around 10 p.m., I was working on an assignment that was due later that night. I pulled out my phone to check the sore in one of the leagues where the score was neck and neck. I needed the Quarterback to score less than 5 more points than he currently had. I stopped working and turned on the game. Huge throw from the QB, and CAUGHT by the receiver. That gives the QB enough points for my opponent to defeat me. But there was a flag on the play, canceling the catch, and the points given with it. In the following play, the QB had a clear path to run it straight into the endzone, also giving him enough points for my opponent to defeat me. However, he stops 1 yard away from the endzone in order to run the clock down and finalize the win. I rejoiced, winning against all odds. After the moment of happiness, I realized I still had the assignment to complete and wasted 15 minutes of time that I could’ve used on the assignment and 15 minutes of sleep that I could’ve gotten (which I very much needed). 

This has seemingly become a bad habit for me. While I have a great time with my friends in a fun yet competitive environment, I tend to waste time that I wish I hadn’t wasted. My brain trying to plan moves with my teams rather than thinking about the test that is coming up. Also considering that we are all as busy and stressed as we could possibly be because of our college applications. The deadlines of the applications combined with my poor time management led to stress. Stress that could’ve been alleviated if I didn’t waste my Sundays. 

I then considered the possibility of simply deleting the apps. I thought it would eliminate my problems with time management altogether. It did in fact do just that. However, I failed to consider the mental health portion of the solution. With my already restricted social interaction outside of school (due to college application), football fantasy is something where I can make time for the interaction, freeing my mind of any thought of the dreadful applications. 

With every problem comes a sensible solution. I have started placing time limits on the football fantasy apps in order to increase productivity. I increase the time limit by an hour of the apps on Sundays and then set it back to the usual limit.  Giving me a better handle on a balance between maintaining competitiveness with my friends while also finding time to focus on my schoolwork and applications.

 

A beautiful sunset, waves crashing, and the cool Pacific breeze. From what my parents tell me, San Francisco was a breathtaking dream. Despite being born there, I was never able to experience that dream, as I was set to move to India when I was just a toddler. 

In India, I grew up with just my grandparents for my first two years there. They gave me much more than what I could have ever asked for. Those two years built a great attachment for me with my grandparents. As those two years passed, I thought I was going back to San Francisco. Quite the opposite had happened, my mom and sister both moved to India. While I wished for me to move back with my family to California, I was stuck in India. Shortly after my family had moved back to India, India became my home, especially since I had no real memories of California as I was so young. School in India was great, apart from the constant notetaking and the brutal exams. The weather was great (maybe not as pleasant as California) and the community was great. I made great friends, did well at school, and even pursued many interests I had at that point in my life. I had found my place. Somewhere that I never wanted to leave in my lifetime. 

One day, as the streetlights had turned on, marking my cue to get back home from the hours of playing badminton with my friends. As I step into the house, I see my mom prancing around the living room. She looks at me either anxiously or eagerly. I took the clue that she was about to reveal something to me, some sort of big news. She revealed it with great excitement, “We are moving to Canada!” For a brief moment, I matched her excitement, hugging her with great happiness. Apart from my happiness lay other emotions. Just as I was about to sleep for the night, it dawned on me that moving to Canada would mean I had to leave my entire life I built for 9 years in India. My friends, cousins, school, and most importantly, my grandparents. 

We packed as much as we wanted to take to Canada, said our goodbyes to everyone, and boarded the plane. The 14-hour plane ride gave me some time to think. I questioned everything I possibly could about living my life in Canada; what are the schools like? What are the people like? Will I make good friends? The question that lingered in my head for the longest was, will I be able to call this place home? Many people associate “home” with words like “comfort”, “safe” and “solace”; I was one of these people. I wondered if this meaning would change because of the completely new environment that I was going to be living in. 

Tray tables are stowed away, seatbelts on, and window blinds open. I look outside to gloomy skies and a boring landscape. My first impression of Canada was not off to a great start. As we grab our bags and head out, a fresh breeze of cold air hits my face, and I am not amused. We stay in an apartment until the house is ready for us to move into. As we got settled in Canada, I started to notice a routine and even a sense of belonging. Although the schooling system wasn’t the greatest, I met some great people who I still call friends. I began acknowledging this place as home. 

My junior high was filled with amazing memories. Eighth grade came with a shock, maybe numerous shocks. As I started preparing information regarding the high schools that would be beneficial for me, we all got an email. Spring break had been extended by two weeks (surprise number 1). I rejoiced, thinking about the two weeks more that I got to spend with my friends. This “break” was made permanent, where our school was completely remote (surprise number 2). Following this, I came back home one day from playing with my friends to my parents looking at me the same way they did when I was told about moving to Canada. I joked, “Are we moving to another country?” They replied with, “How did you know?” (surprise number 3). 

This time, we were moving to America, my birthplace. To my disappointment, it wasn’t the dream of a place, California, it was Illinois. 

While I was still disheartened about leaving my home in Canada after 3 short-lived years, I was relatively excited to mark yet another adventure in my life. I realized that my idea of “home” wasn’t the people that existed by me, the weather, the physical home, or even the way of living in said place. It was rather the people that I associated home with, which were my parents and sister. 

As I settled into my life in Naperville, I found the meaning of belonging, I found my home.