BY JEAN VALENTINE
Child
You’ve boarded me over like a window or a well.
Mother
It was autumn
I couldn’t hear the students
only the music coming in the window,
Se tu m’ami
If you love me
I went for a week’s journey in soft ermine.
Darling, the ovals of your hair …
autumn leaves,
your hair the hue of rain-drenched bark, your voice:
Don’t ever leave me …
And this child, this
window in my side,
boarded over all my life,
—how can I take the boards off, in this wind?
I will break if I bend …
_________________________
I first read “Mother and Child, Body and Soul” by Jean Valentine as a conversation. The poem is divided into subsections of “Child,” and “Mother,” and at first glance I thought that these names were being used as nouns of direct address. However, reading on proved that they are used like character names in a screenplay.
The poem begins with an accusation: Child accuses Mother of “[boarding them] over like a window or a well.” I read this as a child feeling limited by their mother, blocked off from the world or their potential. Yet the images chosen to convey this sentiment, a window and a well, confused me. A well is a communal resource, dug into the ground; a window lets in light and allows one to see beyond, acting as a relief or barrier. In blocking off a window, does the mother limit the child’s sight, her own, or both? Does she limit their access to some ability or resource, such as the well implies? Is this “[boarding] over” a form of protection, and if so, is it of the mother, the child, or both? If not a protection at all, then is it driven by spite or fear? I am left with many questions about the meaning and effects of this action.
The poem then shifts to Mother’s perspective. She describes a scene of autumn and music, mentioning another window. Disconnected from the first, confrontational stanza, Mother seems caught up in memory. Upon researching the italicized line “Se tu m’ami / If you love me,” I discovered that the words are from a famous Italian song, properly finished with “…se tu sospiri,” meaning “if you love me, sigh for me.” This implies that to love another means to feel their pain: to empathize with them. This could be a reflection of her love for her child, suggesting her sacrifices for her child’s sake.
Mother describes a romantic scene: autumn leaves, the hues of “your hair,” wearing “soft ermine” which is an expensive fur coat. This new subject, “you,” could reference a past lover that Mother thinks of nostalgically, creating a third character, or rather the absence of one. The poem reads as a vague love story, and I find myself creating narratives to explain it. Perhaps there is no third person at all. Valentine is unclear about who is speaking and who is being spoken to, alluding to a past history that only the characters share. The next line: “Don’t ever leave me…” only serves to heighten my confusion. As italics have previously signified a change in speaker, this line could come from the theorized past lover or from Child. However, similar to the Italian line, it could also be an expression of Mother’s deep internal desires. Regardless, the trailing line exudes desperation and longing.
The last stanza stood out to me and was ultimately my reason for choosing this poem. Mother is brought back from her reverie by thoughts of her child, whom she calls a “window in [her] side.” This third reference to windows perpetuates my initial confusion about the poet’s intent— what does it mean to have a window in your side? Like the phrase “a sitch in my side,” a cramp, yet instead the poet chose a window as though Mother cannot refer to Child as something wholly negative, borrowing a window’s more positive connotation. In this stanza, Mother admits that Child is correct, that the window has been boarded over all her life, asking “—how can I take the boards off, in this wind?” This line, separated with an em-dash, develops a sense of vulnerability and desperation. Mother fears change, fears the elements and the light that opening the window would let in. Personal fear is what motivates her to shut Child out, not Child’s wellbeing. This selfishness is unconventional, not often depicted in the typical giving image of a mother. The final line, “I will break if I bend…” is the peak of this fear. Mother lives in the past: safe yet isolated, missing out on the present. This stanza develops Mother’s inner turmoil as she battles being a mother despite fearing the responsibility.
Upon revisiting the title, “Mother and Child, Body and Soul,” I am still somewhat lost. Though clearly a depiction of the relationship between a mother and child, the body and soul part leaves me uncertain. Perhaps it is due to the weight of the situation, felt viscerally. Despite not being confident about the details, the sentiments conveyed strike true. Valentine conveys raw emotion through the tender descriptions and desperate confessions, writing about love, longing, and fear. She explores a vulnerable side of motherhood: fear, uncertainty, and weakness. I enjoyed this poem for the way it was able to convey a relationship, particularly a flawed one, with such impact.
I really like this poem. I also like how the poets name is Jean Valentine and I’m reading it on Valentine’s Day 😍. Personally, I always look up the poet right after I read their poem to see if I know them from anything or to just find extra information. I’ve never heard of her before but was sad to see that she just recently died in 2020. Her website is super cool and aesthetically pleasing, though. She was also born in Chicago! I found your analysis interesting because you didn’t just tell us the “answer” to the poem, you included the questions you had to show us your thought process. I like that you can read this poem from two different sides, almost, especially with the first stanza in the childs perspective, the contrasting ideas of protection vs restriction. I also thought the last stanza, especially the last line, was interesting because it depicted motherhood in way that isn’t talked about frequently. It felt so vulnerable and stood out to me because while a lot of poems are written in first person, this poem felt personal on another level. On the poetry foundation website, there was a quote from David Kalstrone, a New York Times book review writer, that said “Valentine has a gift for tough strangeness” which I think was a nice way to describe her style.
Hi Grace,
I found it incredibly interesting to read about your analysis of the poem “Mother and Child, Body and Soul.” When I read this poem, it did not make any sense to me at all. It was evident that a mother and her child were partaking in an endeavor together, but I struggled to understand the meaning of the poem beyond this point. I found it interesting how you highlighted that this poem shifts perspectives within each stanza. Prior to reading your analysis, I had not noticed this at all. However, once I read the poem through the mother’s lens, in comparison to that of her child, I was able to gain a deeper understanding of the poem as a whole. Moreover, I agree with your analysis about the poet’s usage of imagery. The vivid description that is used throughout the course of the poem, serves to highlight the vulnerability that comes with motherhood and the poet’s complicated feelings towards that. As a whole, this poem was incredibly heartfelt and emotional. I believe that the poet emphasized her deepest feelings about motherhood through this poem, and expressed the vulnerabilities that most mothers cannot openly state. Your thorough analysis of this theme, truly highlighted the ideas that the poet was expressing.
Grace, I thought the poem you chose was a beautiful illustration of the relationship between a mother and child. I also took the Child’s initial dialogue as a sort of accusation against the mother, almost like they feel blocked off from her love. I was curious as to the translated verse, especially because the lack of punctuation gave me the impression that the sentence went on. I really liked how you interpreted the end of the line from the song and how that added to the complexity of the relationship between the mother and her child, specifically the past disagreements that they had that were covered by the fuzz of familial love. During my first read through, I actually thought the “you” in the third stanza was the Child, and the mother was almost floating on air with her love for them. The dialogue “Don’t ever leave me…”, I imagined to be told in the Child’s voice. I thought the title, especially how it mentions “body” and “soul”, was important as a clue to the meaning of the poem. I also loved your analysis of the window in the Mother’s side, and how it showed her vulnerability and how even though she seems to have unconditional love for her child, she is guarded and fearful of what that love could do to her. Overall, I thought your analysis was incredibly insightful when it came to this really difficult poem.
Hey Grace,
I loved your poem. I kind of found myself reading it the same way I read my poem. From the Italian references to the ambiguity in speakers, both our poems are centered around vulnerable and flawed relationships, although yours is paternal and mine is romantic. I love how unique your poem is, with it being split into two different sections – the mother and the daughter. This allows this poem to be able to give the reader the full context of a relationship, which is something many poems (including my poem) lacks because many poems only contain one perspective, one side of the story that is written through the poetry format. My favorite part of your essay was when you revealed what the Italian lines meant, and the connection to the ending of the song. The whole poem is built on empathy and understanding, which many parental relationships lack due to the difference in generations and maturity. I personally think it’s so clever for the author to reveal the fundamental idea of the poem through an indirect reference to a song lyric. Your poem and my poem also both have their fair share of ambiguity in intended audience which is something that adds a whole nother level of difficulty when interpreting. All in all, great poem and analysis.
Hi Grace! As soon as I saw your poem, I knew it was going to be a good read. I can tell you my thoughts very thoroughly when deciphering this poem because, similar to my poem, this one seems very simple to break down but close examination proves that this poem is anything but simple. The structure of this poem is so intriguing. The changing perspective, changing language, and this third presence that you refer to all contributed to the complexity of this poem. I did not pick up on the mother’s romantic tone until you pointed it out to me. I did understand that there was a bit of hostility towards the mother from the child and perhaps that is what is causing the mother to be nostalgic of her youth, still speaking lovingly to her upset child. Like you, I am still very confused by what the connection between these details may be, even after multiple reads. This may be the most difficult poem I have read for this class thus far! Despite my confusion, your analysis of Valentine’s use of diction and a “third perspective” have helped me reach a deeper understanding of this poem, so thank you!