Sleep is my lifelong arch nemesis. Ever since the 6th grade, I’ve been grasping at the idea of sufficient sleep, but it has remained an unattainable dream. As my eyebags continue to deepen, sleep (or lack thereof) has become increasingly prominent in recent weeks. I wanted to explain some of my experiences and provide a brief breakdown of all things nighttime and sleep.
This blog post is dedicated to my lack of blog ideas, my daily naps, and my precious iced coffees.
NIGHTTIME IS SO AWESOME
I wouldn’t be staying up all this time if I didn’t have a particular fondness for the night- it sounds silly, but something about it has always felt right. By the water, under a cool summer moon, and even in the midst of winter. I carry memories of the wind flinging my hair back, carelessly laying in the grass, and unsuccessfully chasing fireflies.
And even when it’s too late to be outside, there’s a certain clarity I feel during the night. It’s always been my time to think and exist. Even after the most chaotic and exhausting of days, nighttime belonged to me. It’s been my constant and my rock, no matter how tired I am.
And honestly, most of the time there is no true reason for me to be awake. But I never seem to want nighttime to end and sleep to begin. Sometimes I think I’m simply meant to be a vampire (in a cool and mysterious way) and never sleep, but the feeling the following afternoon often tells me otherwise.
WHERE DID ALL THE TIME GO? LATE TO EVERYTHING.
As much as I love staying up, I have to admit that it has consequences. During every school break, I frequently found myself waking up well past noon. The reason for this? Probably because I stayed up until 4-5 am every night. As you’d expect, the day was over before I knew it. Not the healthiest schedule.
However, this quickly became more of anissue when I had earlier obligations. Mornings were a chore, and waking up early was a strenuous task. Even with an abundance of alarms, I’ve woken up late for plans- if I even woke up for them at all. People avoid making morning plans with me altogether, knowing too well that I am not a morning person.
Sleeping through the day is my own issue, but once it began affecting others, I realized that some moderation is necessary. There comes a time to acknowledge that my sleeping habits hurt others too, and I have to set a more reasonable habit of staying up. I’m still figuring this one out.
FRIENDS ARE MY WORST INFLUENCE
This subheading may be a little exaggerated, and I do care for my friends very much. However, I seem to incessantly attract night owls into my life. More often than not I spend my nights talking to f
riends, which only pushes back the time until I go to sleep. I’ve often felt the instant regret of checking the time and realizing it was 6 am. Maybe if I didn’t know anyone else that was awake, I would be forced into sleeping earlier. Unfortunately, I know too many people with broken sleep schedules.
I’ve spent so many (stupid) nights staying up with my friends, but I don’t regret them either. I’ve spent hours laughing and crying, and the people I’ve stayed up with mean the world to me. I love my night owls and our nighttime discussions, even if we keep each other up.
PROCRASTINATION
It’s 11:02 pm as I’m writing this post, and I haven’t started my other homework. While I would’ve stayed up late regardless of homework, the assignments that await me don’t help me get any closer to improving my sleeping habits.
But I don’t just procrastinate homework, I procrastinate sleeping itself. I’ve been decently light in my overall homework load recently, but I’ve been sleeping even later than usual. This might mean watching youtube videos that I’ll forget in a day, watching countless Instagram reels, or getting into an hour-long conversation over text (that really could’ve been talked about the next day). I always feel the need to win against sleep, and somehow sleep always wins.
FINAL WORDS
Sometimes I feel like I stay up because it’s all I’ve ever known. The night has always been mine, and fighting against sleep has become part of who I am. I have a lot to assess in my sleep habits, and there is a definite need for moderation. But for now, I’ll try to keep it to 2-3 am on weekends and work forward from there. 
*BONUS* MINI NIGHTTIME PLAYLIST
Space Song by Beach House
Run by Joji
(dream) by salvia palth
I stay up late too for a large number of reasons as well. I am usually on my phone watching some show or scrolling through TikTok when I should be doing my homework and not procrastinating on it until the night before. The two usually go hand in hand since I use my phone to avoid doing homework only to finish the next morning just before class. I don’t really deal with that on the weekends though because it’s the only time I have to sleep in and catch up on all of my missing sleep. I stop messaging my friends and other people around dinner time since that is when I start with my routine of getting ready to sleep.. I would rather talk throughout the day and relax and do stuff only by myself at night. I mainly watch shows on Netflix and Hulu and just binge watch while my chromebook is next to me. I am pretty good at multitasking as well but sometimes I just do not do it when I have my phone in front of me and boring homework next to it. I guess the battle against sleep is also the battle against using the phone all the time and being able to manage that addiction.
Hey Izzy,
As always a hilarious blog. I love the way you write, including your word choice, random bursts of capitalization, and your ever so humorous imagery. Personally, I am the complete opposite. I always sleep way too much, crashing by 9pm when I still had a huge mountain pile of homework to do. The minute the sun sets, my body shuts down, and I just need to lay in bed with my lights off and door completely shut. I do not understand how you voluntarily stay up in the late hours, or how your tiredness does not always win. I understand the calm of the night, the lack of rush, social obligations, and chores. It’s like being off the clock at work. Even though I do enjoy the alone time night allows me like you do, my desire for sleep and rest always wins my want to just mindlessly scroll on my phone, watch tv, read books, or play games. My entire body shuts down the next day at school when I do not sleep and I cannot focus on a single assignment. I honestly don’t know how to do it. I guess it’s admirable in a way.