What 15 Years of Piano Has Done
My blog’s supposed to represent a recipe book but I’m just going to say piano is a recipe for disaster!
I like making my hating the piano a part of my personality. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t write my personal statement about this silly little instrument. I feel like everyone I know has played the piano; it was just me who was robbed of the ability to quit. Since my high school career is coming to a close, my career as a pianist is also going to end. So, I’m going to reflect on the experiences my ability to play the piano has subjected me to.
Jazz Ensemble! I hate jazz with my whole being. Joining the jazz ensemble as an 8th grader was completely on me but it was a situation where I couldn’t just up and leave. I wanted to expand my horizons. I wanted to work in an ensemble. I wanted to like jazz. But most of all, I wanted to turn back time to when I wasn’t ambitious and stop myself from auditioning. I wasn’t creative enough to compose a fun little riff on the spot and lived completely on edge during rehearsals. It was way too hard to sight-read both hands at the written tempo and overall a mess every rehearsal and since the keyboard was connected to an amp I was just hyper-aware of how loud my mistakes were. I had a relatively okay background in music theory but what I had to do was completely unrelated! That overall experience was a 6/10 as the performances were kind of fun. This also serves as a formal apology for my lack of practice to those in this picture.
Orchestra! I don’t know what happened to me in this musical era but middle school orchestra was a disaster. I played the viola because it was such a popular and delightful instrument to play and I couldn’t wait to learn a third clef! For some reason, we had a large viola population and didn’t have enough scores to fill each stand. So my stand partner and I were granted the gift of the third violin part despite her preaches of how important the violas were. This caused so much unnecessary stress. Just because I could read multiple clefs didn’t mean I could blast a tune on any instrument. This continued on for all three years. It went all downhill in 8th grade. Joining jazz ensemble somehow was an invitation for my orchestra teacher to request me to play the piano for her. All the experiences I was put through really made me question what I was doing. I got such little information about
anything I did and little to no prep I just felt bad because I was dragging people behind. First, she asked if I wanted to play with the advanced ensemble and I was excited too because I had friends there but I really did regret it later. Anyway it was the same time as jazz ensemble in the morning so I obviously couldn’t do both and it was my fault one ensemble couldn’t rehearse. The piano did not play a key role in either one. The second instance that
really destroyed my faith was playing for the 5th-grade orchestra. I did what any musician does and played what was on the page but my teacher failed to inform me that the little elementary schoolers were performing at less than half my tempo. So I realized this DURING the performance and very well could not look up at her conducting or hear the orchestra because of the amp next to me or just even function. These instances are extremely trivial but I’m just as spiteful as 124.
Finally the last actually fulfilling experience I had with piano at school was Tyler’s Mr. NNHS act. I say that for only practicing for two weeks we were pretty good at something that was music related. What I found the most amusing was the fact counting was the main issue for us despite Tyler being the drum major and counting being ingrained into my head. Maybe it’s because the school had nothing to do with this experience or I had a choice of what to do that I actually enjoyed it. I enjoy performing with friends as it’s always a delightful experience to witness people playing instruments as it’s never a daily occurrence. If I ever ask to play a song together, I plead.
I know music is a great way to connect with others and I wouldn’t give up being a musician for anything but I really wish I had more stories about competitions rather than school experiences.
Hi Jessica! I really enjoyed your blog post- you have such a strong and funny voice that shines through your writing! I also enjoyed your blog post because I can say that I have been there for part of it! Orchestra was also one of the most stressful experiences of my middle-school life. I remember when our teacher asked the viola section if any of us could read in treble clef to play the third violin part, and luckily for me, I could not! I remember you and your stand partner making your way through the violin sheet music, and being so impressed that you could translate your skills into an entirely different clef. Advanced ensemble was quite an interesting experience for me as well, as (between you and me) I faked my way though it! I was not good at viola, but you were so good at piano! I remember that last piece we played in eighth grade for the moving on ceremony, and how beautiful your piano accompaniment was! Though difficult, I agree- music is a great way to connect with others, and is actually how I met you! Thank you for sharing you story and its amazing to see all your memories of piano through the years(the good and the bad)!
Hi Jessica,
I think it’s pretty amusing that so many people have such a negative view of their time in middle school band or orchestra. I was just having this conversation with Nathan Lee yesterday where we recounted on 7th grade orchestra and the collective suffering we endured. My short-lived time as a cellist in the KJHS orchestra was also, as you put it, “lived completely on edge.” I only started playing the cello the summer before middle school because of a pact that I made with a friend to both start playing the instrument (that he did not uphold). Consequently, I remember in my first seating audition I couldn’t even get through two lines without totally fumbling the bag. I think I began my career as a cellist as either last or second-to-last chair. However, after many hard months of applying myself to the instrument (I think this stretch of time in 6th grade is the only time I consistently practiced), I made it to 4th or 5th chair by the end of the school year. I’m personally proud of myself for making such a meteoric rise in such a short time.
I think that this was probably the point in the story where things took a turn for the worse. All I remember from 7th grade orchestra was the one trimester that McClure made me first chair and then proceeded to lambast me during every lesson and rehearsal for messing up the counting on some solo or other. I remember I would look for ways to get out of going to orchestra out of fear of messing up in front of everybody. Put simply, I don’t think I was musically gifted enough to play first chair. My Goldilocks zone was being second chair and just turning pages for whoever sat beside me, without a solo to fuss about.
Needless to say, I ended my affiliation with the KJHS orchestra in 8th grade.
Hi Jessica,
Honestly, I can’t relate with any of your blog post because I absolutely love playing music. Like, I could play it all day and night. I absolutely agree with you that playing music with friends is really fun. One of my favorite memories in middle school orchestra was just messing around with Lucas in the back of the room, if you remember us. He was in the viola section, too. I was also in the jazz ensemble; I remember you being very timid, and you obviously didn’t have any experience with jazz. Now, I’m not saying I’m a jazz god or anything, but I can lay down a bassline. You would just read the music, and that’s okay, I guess. If you played more music with friends, you would’ve liked music more and have been a better musician. In chamber music, it’s always the groups comprised of friends that do the best at competitions, not the groups with the “best” individual players. Also, the piano is such a diverse instrument, I mean you could play with any ensemble and in any genre. That’s cool. You’re smart— I’m sure you’d find some fun music to play. Maybe you should do that next semester. Anyways, it was fun reading your blog and thank you for sharing!
Jessica — I really enjoyed your trip down memory lane with this post! I know piano has been a big part of your life for a long time, so it was interesting to hear about your various experiences with music over the years. I think it’s great that you’ve been able to find fulfillment in performing with friends; I watched you and Tyler perform at Mr. NNHS, and it was super cool to see how talented my musically-inclined friends are!
On an unrelated note — that picture from the middle-school yearbook is hilarious, I can’t believe they used to make kids take pictures while dressed for gym. I also had an ill-fated stint in the Kennedy orchestra. By around eighth grade, I could still only manage squeaky melodies, and I knew violin was definitely not the instrument for me.
I grew up playing piano, though my parents never put me in formal competitions or testing, which I think I’ve ended up pretty grateful for — I definitely lack the technical mastery or artistic skill that many of the people I know have, but the less stressful environment allowed me to enjoy the process of learning music a lot more. More recently, my musical endeavors have turned to attempting to learn guitar.
Hi Jessica!
15 years of piano does seem like a pretty long time to be honest! Personally, I can’t see myself as anything above 14 years old so 15 years goes crazy. I really like that almost jumpscare of the KJHS Jazz Ensemble picture. Even the font makes me a bit nervous. I distinctly remember the PE teachers not allowing their students to change out of their PE clothes if they had PE that period. Couldn’t be me, stay safe though. Don’t be too hard on yourself for your performance at Kennedy; I don’t think anyone was actually confident in their abilities, no matter how talented they may have been. I was always puzzled by those who chose the viola because why? It’s like an inconvienent violin. This is coming from someone who knows almost nothing about instruments so if there are any viola-apologists out there reading this I deeply apologize. Thank you for the helpful image displaying that the piano is not the same as a viola because I don’t think I would’ve been able to figure that out without it to be honest. I’m so glad you were able to find enjoyment in performing with Tyler for Mr. NNHS (you guys did great by the way). These extracurriculars and hobbies can get stressful really quickly, especially with additional external pressure from the people around you, so it’s extremely important to focus on yourself and your own interests. I love how I can hear your voice just by reading your words, and I’m excited to read through blog posts next semester.
Oh man, Jessica, when I first read your title I thought you were going to talk about all of your accomplishments and experiences with playing the piano and all, but after realizing that you were actually clowning on playing an instrument, I realized I’m in the same boat as you. I have also experienced the same abuse throughout my youth, but fortunately not as long as you have. I began playing the violin in 4th grade and ended up quitting at the end of grade 6 when I got hurt and had to have a few surgeries and go to rehab and whatnot just before my family moved to Naperville. By the time I got to my freshman year though, my mom convinced me to start taking private lessons for piano just out of the blue (yes I know I started hella late). I eventually quit that as well after I started feeling bad my parents were paying all this money for 45-minute lessons to learn an instrument I wasn’t even practicing for at home. I’m not going to lie though, I still kinda want to give piano another shot maybe in the near future. I enjoyed it more than when I was in orchestra because I could learn and play on my own time and plus I feel that the piano is just a useful instrument to know how to play basic songs on. We’ll see I guess. I’m saying I hate playing an instrument right now, but I might end up hating music less once I give it another shot. You never really know for sure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯