The Art of Pet Peeves

Everyone has pet peeves; small irritations that set them over the edge. Some are more common than others, such as people chewing loudly, bodily functions in public, or even double-dipping. Most of them are easily ignored, but others could be connected to sensory disorders which cause a focus on singular action. The real question is, where do these pet peeves come from? Why do certain actions affect others but not you? Are we overdramatic about the supposed annoyance or just uneducated on the topic?

My whole life my mother has told me I’m the most easily irritated person she has ever met. I cringe when I hear someone scratch their scalp, I flinch when someone breaths on my neck, and I simply want to rip my ears off when I hear someone chewing. “You are so sensitive! Why does everything bother you? Where’s your tolerance?” are comments I hear often. Honestly, I don’t see the problem within myself, because I don’t understand why others think it’s appropriate to do these things in public, when I certainly would not. I’m not sure if my annoyances are just pet peeves or something bigger, but either way, I know I have lots of them.

As pet peeves have become a growing problem in my life, I’ve started to realize that us, as a species, know little about the topic. We know there are many common pet peeves that several people suffer from, but why do these specific actions affect us? Is it a herd mentality? Is it the way we are raised as humans? There could be many answers to these questions, but to put it simply, researchers have said when humans are faced with negative sounds, such as chalk on a chalkboard or a fork scraping a plate, the amygdala is most affected. This is the part of the brain where most negative emotions surface. Once the amygdala finds this noise unpleasant, it instantly causes the human to feel uneasy. As for annoyances in the word form, an example being the word moist, something as simple as a negative connection to that word will cause an irritation. This is called word aversion. Having a negative connection to a word is similar to feeling disgusted by it. The sight, sound, or thought of certain words is what triggers the pet peeve. Furthermore, actions that cause annoyances could come from a negative experience linked to the specific action. Or similar to my previous explanations, the simple sight or sound of the movement could also create the pet peeve. Pet peeves are an ordinary thing in our everyday lives but are not understood very well. The psychology behind the creations help us understand and identify why some things just tick us off, aiding us in controlling them and handling them better.

Pet peeves seem bearable enough right? Even by definition, it refers to them as minor inconveniences. But in my personal experience, it does not feel that way. When I can hear someone chewing it’s as if my mind starts to solely focus on that single noise. The problem we face is that there is no one way to make these irritations stop. There are some ways to deal with our pet peeves, such as asking this person to stop whatever it is that’s bothering you. You could try to focus on something different, or you could start to build a tolerance to it. However, the truth is, none of these solutions are proven to work. Different coping mechanisms will vary depending on the person, but the most important thing is to try.

Similar to the famous quotes ‘walk it off’ or ‘deal with it’, some people will simply tell you to ignore whatever it is that’s bothering you. But there is a flaw in this advice, no matter who’s giving it to you. Having to deal with a constant amount of irritation and not being able to speak up about it can start to cause ticks in a person. Ticks are when you shudder with disgust or anxiety when you have to sit through a continuous amount of displeasure, sometimes fostering anger can start within a person. This is similar to bottling up your emotions. You hide how you really feel for such an extended period of time that it ends up all exploding out of you. Some people will explode in rage others, tears, either way, this is not a healthy coping mechanism.

Some will say certain pet peeves can benefit your life. For example, incessant foot-tapping is a common pet peeve among many people. However, the constant up and down movements can show that a person is rhythmically talented and musically inclined. Though the habit is bad and very annoying, it can show a lot about the person doing the action. As for the person who is annoyed by the tapping, the pet peeve could possibly show that they grew up distracted by perpetual noise. This could be indicative of a negative experience when the individual was in their youth. They could have grown up with a sibling that constantly played an instrument, such as the drums, constantly causing distraction. They also could have grown up near a major road, where the endless sound of moving cars disrupted their sleep. Pet peeves can tell a person a lot about themself. If you are always feeling the need to pace around, you could be a more active individual who needs to keep moving. Whether that means running track, standing during class, or dancing for fun. People that find themselves feeling anxious or bothered when others are moving around could feel rushed or hurried. It is a common aggravation for someone sitting down to feel less than when someone is standing or pacing over them. When looking at this from a different perspective, beneficial pet peeves such as foot tapping or pacing can tell you more about yourself. This way, you know if you need to fidget with something during class to focus better, or if you need to exert more energy before you are able to sleep.

I understand the benefits of knowing what you need as a person, but I still don’t see the positives of pet peeves outweighing the negatives. Having to deal with these small sensory disorders on a daily basis are most likely not a blessing in disguise. Although it is possible, it is rare to find an annoyance with a large benefit to it. Whether you hold in your uneasy feeling or let it out someone will end up feeling uncomfortable. I often find that I am blamed or looked down upon when I bring up my own pet peeves. This just goes to show us a community need to talk more on the topic and educate the people around us.

It’s known that the more you focus on an issue the more relevant it becomes in your life. Although I agree with this, it’s still difficult to take my attention away from my pet peeves. Personally, I have found that deep breaths can help to move my focus away from the annoyance. But, as I have stated before, everyone suffers from different levels of frustration. If you are a patient person with high tolerances, you might not be as sensitive to the noise and sights surrounding you. Since we are all affected differently by pet peeves, our solutions will also alter depending on the person. Life is about figuring out who you are and how to be the best version of yourself. Understanding where our pet peeves stem from and why we have them is key in finding effective ways to deal with them. Listening to your pet peeves and finding a way to cope with them will ultimately help you find success within yourself.