Throughout the course of senior year, I have caused myself more stress than ever before. At the beginning of the year, I was devastated that I could not achieve a certain SAT score. I convinced myself I would not be admitted into any business schools and I could see my hard work crumbling before me. When the year began 
I not only had to focus on school work and the swim team but I also had to start applying to colleges. Since I was undecided about what I truly wanted in a college I ended up applying to twelve different schools. I learned that these applications were not just one and done, once I submitted my common application there were still supplemental, scholarships, and honor college applications to be done. This process forced me to check my email every day and write multiple essays a week, because of this my commitment to the swim team started slipping. I ended up missing enough practices to be benched from a Saturday meet. I truly felt like I was losing everything I had worked for. I had been swimming since 5th grade and all of the sudden I was banned from participating. I wanted to find a healthy balance between school and swimming but I just did not know where to start. Overall if you talked to me during September or October you could probably see the constant worry behind my eyes.
As time went on I started to understand that there were different paths to the same destination. Although I took the SAT four times I never achieved my goal score. I was devastated but I learned I could petition for direct admission anyway. Just a couple of weeks ago I found out that I got into the Kelley School of Business and it was one of the greatest feelings. I also completed my very last Naperville North swim season. Although, I felt accomplished I did not finish with the times I had wished to reach. This was something that I struggled with for a
long time. I felt as if my hard work was for nothing and the money spent on the swim team could have been put to another use. I felt as though I threw my whole senior season away and I would never be able to make it up. But, slowly I am starting to understand it is important to remember that I tried my best. Working through a setback is just as vital as completing your goals. Despite all of the moments when I thought my academic career was over I have continued to persevere. Sometimes we build things up in our head that are not of the significance we thought. Looking back on it now I wish I would have been more gentle with myself and not always thought of worst-case scenarios.
I would like all the current juniors to know that your senior year will be hard. There are no ways around it. You have to put in the work, or else you will not be happy with the results. But, with that being said, not everything will go as you had hoped and that is okay! You can get a bad grade and still get into college. You can 
take the SAT as many times as you want until you are happy with your performance. You even have until January before all of your college applications must be done. There is room for mistakes and time to change your mind. Do not drive yourself crazy trying to perfect. I know I am preaching all of this stuff but it is something that I still have to work on every day. We have to accept mistakes and forgive ourselves. Regret only builds misery. Take your accomplishments and make something of yourself, there is always a way. The first semester of senior year has been a learning experience but I have also made some of my best memories. Senior year is full of tradition with tailgates, football games, and dances! Work hard at school but also remember to have fun, balance is everything!
Hey Jordyn, this blog was extremely reflective and honest, and I enjoyed reading it. I can empathize with some of your struggles to begin the year, as I went through some of the same feelings. I took the SAT twice to try and get the score that I was aiming for, but I actually ended up doing worse on it the second time that I took it than the first. I can relate to the overwhelming feeling you described of feeling like you need to accomplish something or hit a certain benchmark or all of your hard work over the years will have gone to waste. Congratulations on being admitted to Kelley, that is truly a huge accomplishment. Your perseverance throughout not just senior year but all of high school through difficult circumstances is really admirable. Allowing yourself room to grow is great advice. Incoming juniors should definitely know that senior year will at times be hard, but that overall they will become more in tune with themselves because of it. We have to learn to forgive ourselves and grow because that is one of the most important things in life.
As a fellow business major, the beginning of your post resonated with me. I’ve been trying to separate my self worth from whatever numbers and letters are thrown at me, and honestly it’s been a little difficult. I have friends who are amazing and have amazing ambitions, but I’ve always felt like an underachiever. I was also caught off guard by the amount of supplements, and I was kind of at a halfway point. Not doing enough in school and extracurriculars, but not doing enough in my apps. I didn’t have a specific activity where my commitments shifted, but I can see why that may have been such a difficult change after many years of having that as a constant.
I think senior year has emphasized more than ever that sometimes things don’t work out the way we wanted it to, Maybe not the desired result, or we didn’t meet the goal we wanted to. I know it’s difficult to process, and I’m still working through it too. However it’s good to remember that you can bounce back, and there’s no point in only feeling regret. I’ve had my fair share of disappointments as well, but there are other things to focus on. I just want to have a good rest of the senior year and hope for the best :).