cry about it

I can’t exactly explain it, but my entire life, I’ve been a big crybaby. 

I cry, a lot — whether I’m happy, sad, angry, scared, excited, or stressed. I’ve always cried a lot. It’s like my body’s default reaction to any emotion ever is to release tears. Sometimes I just can’t help it. 

Anyway, here are a few of the best and worst reasons I’ve cried in the last few months: 

 

1.) Math

Starting off strong — math. I think this photo was taken the night before one of our first tests, and I was in shambles. I was fully lost-in-the-sauce, unable to figure out what a vector was (still not convinced it’s not just a round-bellied orange-jumpsuit-wearing villain) or how they can swirl up on a funny-looking 3D graph. I remember calling one of my friends in the hopes that she could explain it to me — but the call went straight to voicemail, and to guilt-trip her, I sent her this photo.

 

2.) We watched sad dog TikToks on a Saturday afternoon.

Okay, hear me out. It was 3:40PM. Addy and I had gotten up at like 4:50 that morning and I had to drive her to school for some golf thing. We were both so tired we couldn’t get up and were borderline delusional. 

I usually don’t cry over sad TikToks, and call me insensitive, but I’m not really a fan of dog videos either? Like, I enjoy them once in a while, but I’ve never been a huge animal person. 

Still, somehow, these videos that Addy were showing me hit us both hard. Some of my tears probably came from watching Addy cry, but the dogs in those stupid 30-second videos just looked so incredibly sad. 

3.) About half of my closest friends left for college. 

I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that it made me cry daily for a month straight. And then some. 

I don’t really understand when or how this happened, but by second semester last year, almost all of my top five closest friends were older than me. I mean, I’d known most of them since at least elementary or middle school, but there were a few shockers thrown in there too. 

So when they all decided to up and leave (like, why didn’t they just get held back for me?? I’m okay with them being super seniors???) I didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s like a giant gaping hole was left where all of them used to be. 

Luckily, I’m still in touch with most of the important ones (they are NOT escaping my calls), but life has not been the same. I still cry about this like once a week. 

4.) Rainforest Cafe Ruined My Life

Another shared sobbing experience between me and Addy? Rainforest Cafe. 

At DECA Nationals last year in Orlando, my friends and I had this moment where we literally fought to get a spot at the Rainforest Cafe in Disney Springs, across the street from our hotel. We spent hours talking about going to The Restaurant With the Big Volcano and we hyped it up so much. But by the time we got there? We knew we were in trouble. 

This restaurant single handedly ruined all of our chances of doing well in our competitions. It cursed us. The jam-packed room with the roaring of the elephants and the never ending claps of thunder mixed with the screaming children, cold food, and 1.5 hour wait just really did us in. 

By the time we got back to the hotel after Rainforest Cafe, I looked a little something like this: 

When I tell you I was delusional, I truly don’t think I have ever felt this delusional. 

The six of us who survived this experience all proceeded to bomb our competitions the next day too (worst performance of my life). The funniest part is that no one seems to believe us, ever. No matter how hard any of us try to describe the crazy fever-dreamed state we were in, no one else understands until they experience it themselves. 

And here’s proof that it actually was bad, from our advisor (who visited the very next day despite our desperate warnings):  

 

5.) I sat on a call with my friend for 39 minutes. In silence. And also accidentally saw his bare feet. 

Yeah. Enough said. 

 

6.) Declan McKenna was about 2 feet away from me

This was definitely my favorite reason for shedding tears in 2023. 

Personally, Lollapalooza wasn’t an experience that I can say I wish to relive, but there were certain moments that sure were memorable. For example, when I very guiltily ditched one of my friends at the back of the crowd to join my other friends in the middle of the Declan McKenna crowd.

I felt bad about leaving her at first, but quickly realized that I needed the change. And my guilt pretty much dissolved once this happened: 

(Shoutout to Kayley and Nadia for this ^^)

Somehow in the middle of British Bombs, Declan McKenna had teleported from the stage in front of us to the massive crowd behind us. And as we all tried to figure out why there were people screaming, out of nowhere, this shirtless 24-year-old British guy shot out from behind us. He was right there. 

Yeah, I went home and cried. 

Anyway, here’s to another semester of tears…but hopefully good ones this time!