This semester has been the worst and best semester of my high school career. College applications have been eating me alive since July, balancing sports and activities with my class workload has been a struggle, and my stress levels have been at an all-time high. Even so, I think what has changed about my mindset this semester compared to previous ones is that I am choosing to prioritize things I enjoy. I went to so many more football games, and school events, and spent more of my free time with my friends than I ever have. I have found people that bring me joy and rather than stressing myself out with purely academic goals, I have relaxed in the sense that what will happen, will happen. Of course, I still spend lots of time studying and miss out on a few hangouts every then and again but I am not too upset about it because I now prioritize making time for things that make me happy. I will admit, there are times I have caught myself unprepared for a class because I chose to go get ice cream rather than return home late at night. I try to never be too upset at myself when these things happen while still holding myself accountable; this semester has been about finding a balance with everything.
At the start of the school year, I created a document with every college essay I needed to write, organized by school and in the order of when they were due. I formulated a plan that perfectly balanced my soccer, school, and social schedules and allowed me to finish all my applications before my birthday, November 30th. Why then do I still have three applications to submit, you ask? For one, I did not know where to start. I could not decide on a subject for my personal statement, I spent countless hours concocting the perfect response to every essay prompt, and I was so stressed that I was unable to write anything for a pretty long time. Within the first
two weeks of the school year, many of my friends had already completed their personal statements and within the first three weeks, they had applied to multiple schools. My issue was that I was trying to be all of these things that I was not. I wanted my personal statement to be deep, and dramatic, and take the reader on an emotional journey that they would not see coming like many of the ivy league essays I had read. I spent so much time trying to force a story that was not mine and could not write anything of substance until I recognized that I had to write about myself, not how I wanted others to see me. So I wrote about how much I love being an older sister, an older cousin, and a friend to lower-classmen because I love taking care of people and I hope to have a career where I get to do that every single day. Nothing I have ever written has ever come so easy. I maintained this frame of mind with the rest of my essays and suddenly it became much simpler to answer the questions I was being asked. I was constantly comparing myself to my peers, assuming that colleges would want them over me for a variety of reasons, but I have found comfort in being myself, writing about myself authentically, and hoping that I get into a school for my achievements, not by reaching for others’ achievements.
I would first like to say that I love my people and my people are what have gotten me through the first semester. I am probability biased but I really believe I have some of the best friends in the world. They keep me in check, provide hugs and a shoulder to cry on (and I am ALWAYS crying) when I need it, give me the best advice, share
their closets with me, keep me fed, boost my confidence, make me laugh, and will go just about anywhere with me if the gas tank is full. This year, I have gained SO many new and amazing friends, I don’t know what I was doing without them. This support system has made me feel comfortable talking about my feelings and thoughts in a way I haven’t before and they are my
best coping mechanism when I am overly stressed. They know me better than I know myself at times and know exactly what to say when I need reassurance. Most importantly for this school year, they believe in me and all of my goals. They keep me motivated to work on my college applications and when I want to give up because I don’t think I’m going to get into that school, they tell me I can do anything I put my mind to.
I have always loved school and this year has been no different. I have branched out and experienced things my freshman self never would have imagined I would have done. I MCed an assembly in front of the entire school, I walked across the stage as an escort for Mr. NNHS talent show with someone I had talked to for the first time that day, and I have been to more parties than I would like to admit. Senior year has changed me and I hope to keep this momentum going into the second semester. Also, UChicago decisions come out tonight at 7 pm so everybody pray for me, please and thank you. 
Hi Lulu,
I shared a lot of your early-semester sentiments. I didn’t put pen to paper on my personal statement until we were three weeks deep into the semester. Just like you, I had devised a plan to keep myself on schedule to finish all my applications in a timely fashion, but alas, it was not followed. Just like you, I struggled to come up with an introspective and revealing topic. Alas, I could not. Ultimately, I also realized that it was not that deep.
I love that you’re presenting the most authentic version of yourself. No matter if it’s to a prospective university or not, you’re being you, which is sometimes difficult to do. I think authenticity is the most valuable asset you can bring to any table. I’ve had two interviews thus far. I spent the first one talking about my grandparents and being the worst player on North’s golf team during my freshman year. I spent the second talking about NIMBYism and my patented fantasy football hacks.
To me, there is zero point in pretending like I’m someone I’m not for a college, because then that college if they were to accept me, would be admitting a not-Zach. They would be making an investment in who they THINK you are, based on the image you’ve presented. But these images always fall apart when you subject them to scrutiny.
Keep being you!
Hi Lulu,
I’ve never felt more seen than when I read your bit about creating a schedule for applications that you didn’t end up following. Ivy can attest that I’m the same way. I’ve made three schedules and I haven’t been able to follow any of them. Like you, I usually find myself in an idea drought. Writing rarely comes easily to me, and when it does, the quality is as questionable as it can get. When I was writing my personal statement, I went through 6 or 7 different rewrites. The most difficult part was definitely structuring my whole essay. Because while I always have tons of brilliant and beautifully written (not actually but they are in comparison to my essay as a whole), I can never seem to string them together in a good way. I’m glad you were able to branch out this semester. I was able to as well! But I was practically a hermit prior to this year so my branching out is just normal people’s regular. I went to my first football game this year (I died a little writing that out for how sad it is to say), I spent more time with my friends than ever before, and I definitely became more spontaneous. Glad you were able to find the good parts of this semester.