What have I learned in the past semester? That is a loaded question.
I have learned I cannot stand the smell of olives, especially the black olives we used in Senior Foods. They make me gag.
I have learned my friend Elyse Huang can fix my neck when I feel uncomfortable
and can’t seem to get the anxiety out – if she rubs the back of my neck and hits me a little lower on the spine, I feel perfectly fine.
I have learned I love the Bristol Renaissance Faire. I love the people, seeing other people’s costumes and talking with everyone around me and having a good time. And I got to dress up as a pirate. That was really fun.
I have learned that in the few months we have been in this semester, I have missed my girlfriend Eva more than anything. I started this semester two days after I left England to the US, back in August, and I will be ending it two days before I go to see her again.
I have learned that I might have ADHD and will get tested for it soon, I have learned I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled in February.
I have learned I have a really strange taste in music in the past few months. I keep switching to new playlists, like I just can’t get enough new music in before its predecessors feel used up. I have learned that “Goodbye” by The Altogether i
s probably and will probably always be my favorite song in the whole world.
I have learned that I really wasn’t satisfied with my old job, and I have learned I absolutely love my new job. My manager painted my nails for me, a dark glittery green.
I have learned that quitting show choir was the right decision. I don’t think I could’ve gotten this far this year if I had continued it. I would’ve been swamped with college applications and theater and life in general.
Speaking of college applications – I have learned how to apply and submit my college applications for university in the UK. Now all I have to do is wait.
I have learned I still love to crochet, and I have learned I love really awful TV shows only middle-aged white women watch. Grey’s Anatomy and NCIS have kept me captivated for the past few months (and, looking back, I realize why my mom never let me watch NCIS with her. I just wanted to see the cool lady with the black hair and bangs. And she wonders why I love true crime so much now).
I have learned I am proud of myself. Looking back, I never thought this far ahead of myself – I’m the kind of person to live in the moment. I don’t like to look ahead to the future because it scares me. I don’t know what’s ahead of me, and I don’t know what will happen to me. But I did it. I applied to college. I studied hard. I let myself enjoy my life at the same time and I’m still here. I have learned I am so proud of myself.
There are still lots of things I don’t know about myself, things I want to figure out – where I want to live when I move out and leave for college. Where (or hell, if) I get accepted into university in the UK. What I will be thinking and doing and dreaming about a year from today, or two years, or five. I don’t know a lot, and I don’t have the answers to everything, but I want to have the answers. I want to know more about myself, and I want to grow more as a person. I want to find my favorite songs, I want to make friends with more people, I want to make more, act more, crochet more, I want to do more.
I know, for a fact, that I am happier. Even though it’s been rough, and I’ve struggled, I truly am the happiest I have been in a long, long time. And for that, I am grateful.
Hi Meg!
From your post, it is evident that this semester has had a significant impact on you. I feel the same way towards my own life as well. In the last six months, it has become increasingly obvious that the future and adulthood is frighteningly close by. As a result of this, I have accepted that the future is unknown, and my only option is to experience it. I really enjoyed reading about the close relationships that you have with your friends and Girlfriend. Senior year is about building a community and establishing close connections, and from reading your post, it is obvious that you have a tight knit group of individuals that you care very deeply for. This semester, I have found that the bonds I have with many of my friends have strengthened as a result of the fact that it is our last year together. The idea of growing up and being apart from my friends is a very foreign and abstract idea to me. However, as you stated in your post, the future is unpredictable, and the most important thing to do during times such as these is to cherish memories with loved ones and accept that change is coming, regardless of whether we are ready for it or not. I really enjoyed reading your post and wish you the best of luck on your applications to schools in the UK!
Meg! I am so so grateful to have spent the first half of my senior year with you. You are a light in my life, and I’m very happy that I can be there for you to aggressively massage your back.
I’m so proud of how far you have come this year with advocating for yourself and taking risks. I’m so happy that you’re happy! I’ve loved watching you grow into who you want to become, and I’m sure you’ll do wonderful things in the future. The reality of moving past high school hasn’t quite hit me yet, and I’m going to really miss you if/when you move to the UK. Nevertheless, I KNOW you’ll succeed, and I’m excited to continue growing and learning with you in the time that we have left. It’s been so awesome watching you progress in your crocheting skills, recite Grey’s Anatomy monologues, and recommend True Crime podcasts. I really admire your ability to study hard and allow yourself to enjoy life at the same time. Balancing work and life is a skill that I’m still working on, but hanging out with you definitely helps me let go of some of my stresses.
I am excited to continue making memories and learning with you!