I am not ashamed to say that I am a procrastinator.
It’s not that I don’t hate that I do it, I do. But it’s just a way of life that I’ve come to accept at this point. Much to my dismay, I’ve found it to be more challenging to procrastinate this year especially because my classes seem to be more demanding. More often than not I stay up abnormally late – MacBook AND Chromebook open, music playing, textbook open, papers scattered across my desk- sounds like I’m being productive, right? But do not be fooled, that is not me.
What am I actually doing? Staring off into space. The assignment is due before class the next day and I had all week to do it. It’s 12:30 AM and I’m nowhere near done. So what do I do after I finish staring at nothing? Stress over the assignment, stare at it blankly, tap my phone screen to look at the time, and suddenly I find myself watching a TikTok of a dancing frog. Despite all that, I usually get my work done and turned it in on time.
Although I think that some people might disagree, I find procrastination to be an art and a talent. The way people can take what some would do in two days and shrink it all down into 4 hours of quality work (less or more, it depends,) is so fascinating to me. I would consider it to be the one and only skill that I am decent at even though I always end up sacrificing my sleep.
The only downside I absolutely despise is that I never get enough rest because I stay up completing homework. Averaging around your regular 3-4 hours, I’m always pleasantly surprised that my brain can keep me sane when going to school the next day. However, getting 3-4 hours is no longer enough to keep me awake during some courses that are more or less lecture-based.
“OMG Jessica, how have you been keeping yourself awake?” you ask.
What a wonderful question that is. Allow me to let you in on a little secret.
I’m sure anyone could guess it by now, but for those who don’t know, my secret is that I consume copious amounts of caffeine in the form of energy drinks.
If Red Bull has millions of consumers, I am obviously without a doubt one of them. If they have 10, I am still one of them. If they have one, it is me. If they have 0 consumers, then we can all presume that I have died tragically. I am a pretty big fan if you couldn’t already tell.
My junior year consisted of only two a week just because I didn’t want to overload on caffeine, but senior year is seriously a whole different breed. This year, the only consistent thing seems to be that I’ve been tired no matter how much I slept or how many energy drinks I consumed. Therefore, my solution was that whenever I found myself to be tired in the morning before school, I would grab a can of Red Bull from the fridge. Unfortunately, it’s been almost every day now that I carry around a can of it in the side pocket of my backpack in the mornings, with the occasional exception of late arrival Wednesdays. I’ve had them so often that Mrs. Brucker’s gotten used to seeing me with one and only mentions it when I don’t walk into her class with a can in hand.
My friends seem to always be telling me that I’m going to get a heart attack or have to get a mechanical heart pump or go into heart failure before the age of 30 if I keep going down this path, but I think they’re just being dramatic and that I’m going to be just fine and thriving.
Either way, I don’t believe that drinking them has helped me stay awake any more than my pure sheer will, but I enjoy drinking them just for fun and for the possibility that maybe there will be a random occasion where the caffeine actually ends up working.
Overall, my senior year so far has been extremely exhausting and quite stressful, as I’m sure it’s been for most of us. It’s also been pretty caffeinated and wild, but I’ve kind of grown to enjoy the little things that happen every day, even if the majority of my school day is pretty lame.
Hi, Jessica! I think this is an interesting point that you bring up. Procrastination has also had a bad rep to it and definitely discouraged. With all the reasons you listed it in the beginning, I could probably understand why. However, I do agree that procrastination is a skill. I’m a procrastinator as well (shocker), but I definitely find myself having trouble brainstorming ideas. Procrastinating to the last second, working to the last minute does not always work for me. I get overwhelmed by the pressure and I feel like I’m not putting in my best work. I applaud people who can do these things. Without a doubt, I can relate to the lingering fatigue. Managing so many activities prior to senior year, I would easily be managing on 4-6 hours. But now, I’m literally a senior. I need those 8 hours. I think your energy drink consumption is a bit endearing. It’s so sweet that your teacher, Mrs. Brucker, notices the details of her students and teases them for it. I also think it’s sweet that your friends are concerned for your health. It’s disheartening to hear that your year has been full of stress. I hope the rest of your year becomes a lot easier and you’ll be able to take a breather!
Jessica and Redbull are like peanut butter and jelly. Unless you’re allergic. Then that would be a little awkward. I definitely relate to your blog, because some weeks I average on like 2 hours of sleep! You would think I would be studying the whole entire time, but I get sucked into Merge Mansion. There’s just so many things you can merge!!!!! That one day we had a calculus test, I literally had zero hours of sleep. But, I did get the best test score to date so….I’m not complaining (literally a C…) . In all seriousness, I hope you prioritize your sleep, and your self care because we only have ourselves! Your red bulls are truly iconic, and I appreciate you letting me take a sip in Calculus each time. My mom used to never let me drink Red Bull because she said I would die a quick, painful death, but desperate times call for desperate means. I found this sentence, “ This year, the only consistent thing seems to be that I’ve been tired no matter how much I slept or how many energy drinks I consumed. Therefore, my solution was that whenever I found myself to be tired in the morning before school, I would grab a can of Red Bull from the fridge.” relatable since my way of coping with the atrocity of Senior year has been Starbucks. I don’t even like Starbucks that much but I convince myself that I deserve it.
Jessica, I relate to this blog post on a spiritual level. I have found myself working for four hours on an assignment, or more likely a supplemental essay, only to realize I have written two sentences but liked 32 TikToks – I must have seen the same dancing frog on my For You page. Unfortunately for me, my dad was the exact same way as a kid, pushing work off till the last second, so he always catches me in the act and just has to remind me that my bad habits will come back to bite me in college. Surprisingly, my blog post this week was also born out of procrastination. I was actually working on the blog comments three weeks ago, and instead of writing a 200 word blog comment, I ended up writing a 900 word blog post (and yet I still forgot to submit it on Canvas). I remember seeing you with a Red Bull almost every day last year in AP Lang, and I was honestly wondering how you were still alive with that much caffeine running through your veins. I have a vague memory of asking you what it tasted like because I’ve never tried Red Bull and you might have said jet fuel. Do you still feel that way?
Hi Jessica,
I’m going to be honest, you have some really unhealthy habits. You don’t get enough sleep, and with the amount of Red Bull you consume, you are practically replacing yourself on a cellular level with whatever chemicals you’re digesting from the energy drink. You said that your “senior year so far has been extremely exhausting and quite stressful,” and I think that this is mostly self-induced. If you just changed some habits, your life could be so much better. Like, you could actually be a lot happier. This blog post legitimately makes me concerned for you; I cannot emphasize enough that this is extremely unhealthy for your body. Here’s how to stop procrastination:
Go to an area outside of your room (library is a good spot)
KEEP YOUR PHONE AT HOME (the texts or snaps your friends send you do not matter at all, really)
Finish your homework!!!
I follow these two steps, and I get most of my things done. You are already so used to being distracted at your desk, so if you try to get any work done you’ll just default to your regular habits. So going to a place other than your desk will improve your time management. Additionally, your phone is an enormous distractor— just cut it out for an hour or two, and you’ll be amazed at how much you can actually do. Finally, doing homework at a public place will force you to get your work done before 9 or 10, since that’s when most places close, so you’ll go to bed earlier. By sleeping 3 hours a night, just know that you are actively stunting your mental and physical growth. This comment has gotten too long, so I’ll stop here. But just please improve your habits! You’ll feel so much better. Thanks for opening up about your problems, although I’m not sure if you know that they’re problems. It was, for sure, an interesting read.