For blog post #7, thoughts about the end of semester #7!
The passage of time has long plagued me. I often feel like it’s slipping through my fingers — taking everything day by day has meant that I don’t often have the chance to look up and see how much has already gone by. Senior year has meant that endings suddenly feel more real than ever.
I think frequently about lasts: the last first week, the last Halloween, the last year I’m younger than the protagonists of my childhood favorite books. When I’m in the car with Louisa, we joke about how quickly everything is approaching a close, about seeing friends we’ve known for a decade in a cap and gown in a few months.
First semester has passed in a blur of math homework, extracurricular competitions, nights spent doing 100 pages of reading (oops), writing and rewriting college essays. Somehow, though, despite this being the busiest semester of high school by far (whoever said junior year was the worst was a liar), I’ve managed, for the first time in a while, to carve out more time for myself, for friendships, for exploration and growth.
Balance is everything, I think. I’ve learned to slow down a little this year, to find meaning and joy in the little, mundane things: cold brew while spending hours working at a Starbucks, ignoring an impending test to play Kathryn’s elaborate card game during homeroom, the quiet walk I take down that one random hallway to go outside between second and third period. Even if I won’t miss dodging getting body-slammed in the hallways (have had far too many close calls with the trophy case in the science hallway, Grace can confirm), I’m trying to appreciate this time because I know I’ll never have it again.
I’ve also found myself more at peace than ever with the past: a couple months ago, a friend asked: if you could go back in time and redo high school, would you? Then, I said I wouldn’t, and I stand by that. Even if I could’ve made smarter decisions, maximized my time, remembered how to solve X problem on Y test, whatever else, I don’t regret anything that has happened. I don’t think anything is wasted; I also don’t think everything you do has to have some greater purpose or productive value. I’ve spent hours the day before a big test walking aimlessly around a grocery store with friends or scrolling through Wikipedia articles about the romantic endeavors of 20th-century English satirists, and even if it probably wasn’t the best for my math grade, I derived a lot of enjoyment from it. I joined a variety of clubs freshman year because I had a lot of interests and very little idea of what I wanted to do in life. I’m not planning on majoring in chemistry, biology, or (god forbid) physics; however, my years in Science Olympiad have still been valuable! I’ve gotten to spend time with fun people, and the assortment of events I’ve tried have let me explore sustainability, the history of time, and even cryptography and linguistics.
Another takeaway: the value of trying new things and being spontaneous! As cliche as it might sound, some of my favorite memories this year have come from spur-of-the-moment decisions or random endeavors. Case in point: the oft-discussed newbie fantasy football league with a group of friends. Even if my league record is an unimpressive 7-7-0, fantasy has gifted me several really fun memories, from watch parties to arguments about scam-adjacent trades. I’m becoming a disciple of the art of failure, reaching for activities I know I probably won’t be good at but might enjoy.
One other random thought. As a junior, I dreaded what was to come senior year because I hated writing about myself — not just the mountains of supplementals I knew were impending, but also these blog posts. I still don’t like writing about myself, and I can’t say I’ve loved the process of writing college essays in any way, but I did find myself reflecting more on my passions and interests, the meaningful experiences I’ve been fortunate to have over the past few years, and my dreams and the future, and I ended up happy with the essays I wrote, because they felt genuine and complex. Writing blog posts still stresses me out — I obsess over expressing exactly what I want to convey — but I’ve really enjoyed getting to read everyone else’s blogs.
Anyway, to wrap things up: surrounding myself with good people has been the best thing I’ve done this year. All of my favorite memories have been spent with friends: venturing to Westmont on Halloween for Korean barbecue, watching movies of questionable quality, friendsgiving festivities, buying cakes for various occasions. I’m excited to have more free time next semester.
I have hit the word count (above & beyond!!). Thanks for reading, happy end of first semester!
Hey Ivesters!
So glad I could finish out this semesters’ comments by being assigned to you; thanks for a great read.
Your intro gives me It’s About Time flashbacks, but I think that science olympiad event is applicable here. Senior year, in all its glory, is limited in time, and it’s our job to enjoy it as best we can. Part of that definitely comes from spending quality time like we did at that football game, and I have to thank you for not posting absolutely terrible photos of me like Kathryn and Celina. However, the time wasn’t all fun. You’re right about the grind; all that work has been tough, and I’m so grateful that it paid off for you, as it gives the rest of us hope that we’ll get that closure in the next few months too. But your point on balance stands too. I feel the same. The small moments are what matter, because while the people will still exist once we graduate, the exact formula of circumstances that lead to hallway body-slamming and special moments with our friends.
I’m also glad you found so much peace. I definitely have been struggling with this in the past few weeks, but as always, you’re a stunning example of what could be. My regrets are’t really attributed to schoolwork or activities, but I’m glad you are also happy with the way your high school path turned out.
Also I do appreciate your take on trying new things. Fantasy football is an easy example of branching out and experiencing something new in preparation for the massive branching out that will occur next fall. And learning to fail is one of the most practical skills you can learn, so I commend you on that.
Most of all Ivy, I’m prou of you. I’ve seen how hard you worked. It’s clear that you’re training new things and enjoying yourself. And I’m also honored to have participated in those fun moments. Have a great break!
Hi Ivy! First of all, I actually look like a homeless person in that last picture. That cracked sidewalk, drooping trees, and target bag are not it. Anyway, congrats on finishing the seventh semester! You are undoubtedly one of the most accomplished people I know, and everything you have right now you deserve it so much as a result of your hard work and determination. I hope next semester you can kick back and swim in the pool of your accomplishments (ok my computer is as 10 percent and so I need to type this fast so ignore my weird imagery and poor writing). I am so incredibly proud of you and so lucky to be your friend and I cannot wait for the most amazing second semester. You know I am already going to be a super hot mess and I will probably cry at everything but I need you to promise me to keep up with that and never stop loving me. The next few months I am going to treasure the most and I cannot wait for all of our adventures together. I loved all the photos you used, they took me down a trip and I reflected on all of the wonderful times I have had with you and the group this semester. The support, the love, and simple happiness we get from each other is something that always makes me smile. If we have to write a blog like this at the end of the year I am actually going to be bawling. Anyway, thanks for everything!