In these times of college applications, the finality of senior year, and general stress, it is incredibly easy to get lost in the question of “Why?”. Why am I writing all these essays? Why do I care? Looking for an answer, I recently fell down the rabbit hole of a certain someone who is no stranger to the unforgiving grind. The Greek tale of Sisyphus details a mortal, condemned to an eternity of fruitless labor. After cheating death, he is punished by the gods to roll a boulder up a hill only for it to inevitably roll back down as it reaches the top.
As we all push our own personal boulders, it’s easy to fall into a feeling of mutual misery. However, I was recently introduced to a new perspective that has given me unique guidance. The Myth of Sisyphus, a philosophical essay by French philosopher Albert Camus, details the human reaction to absurdity and argues that Sisyphus’ lack of hope is the root of his happiness.
The Absurd
Camus’ work is centered around the idea that the world is inherently absurd. He defines “the absurd” as the juxtaposition of human thought and the universal response. As humans naturally search for reasoning in our existences, we are met with the cruel and cold irrationality of the world. We put all our energy into finding a meaning for life and when we discover the grand unreasonableness of the world, we reach the breaking point.
While this concept was aimed at the subject of human existence, there is a similar outlook on the college application system. We all share an experience when four years of time commitments get condensed into a set of 150 character blurbs and several years of growth are condensed into a 650 word essay. As we transcribe our lives into supplemental essays and activity lists, it is easy to slip into the idea that our college application is a direct representation of our collective experiences. What’s worse is when most of us are met with a rejection letter completely void of reasoning. Our hard work is faced with a full stop denial.
This moment is the high school senior’s absurdity. I like to equate the experience of opening a rejection letter to that of Sisyphus watching his boulder roll back down the hill. Our last four years of work are met with defeat, and our only reconciliation is pushing the boulder back up again.
Acknowledging the Absurd
Watching the boulder fall is what Camus defines as Sisyphus’ acknowledgement of the absurd. Here, Sisyphus recognizes how long eternity is and the guaranteed worthlessness of his actions. There is no redeeming his situation, there is no way out, and there is no alternative. But, as Camus says, “crushing truths perish from being acknowledged”. He reaches the conclusion that full acknowledgement of the absurd should not bring misery and insanity, but instead bring three consequences: revolt, freedom, and passion. In acknowledging his fate, or lack thereof, he is the master of his own universe. By recognizing the never-ending existence of his burden, he can find joy in acceptance.
Who Cares?
Eternity is a long time and when compared to how long this whole college application ordeal will last, we can say that Sisyphus has got it worse. I’m not sure what his SAT score is looking like, but I don’t think he is getting into college anytime soon.
Nevertheless, there is no denying the inevitable cruel reality of college decisions. It is beyond likely that we will come face to face with our own absurdity as we watch our boulders fall four years down the hill. But, Camus emphasizes that the only thing that matters is the human reaction. We can break down and lose our minds in the absurdity of reality, or we can come to terms with it now and break free with passion and revolution.
There is no easy path to going to your dream school (maybe if you donate a building or two but that’s not a very reliable method). But in acceptance of the unforgiving grind, we can find the fruit in the fruitless. It is not entirely true that in the face of a rejection letter we are left with nothing. We are lucky in that way. While Sisyphus’ boulder rolls all the way back down for eternity, we still have our experiences, our wisdoms, our skills, and our youth. 
As Camus tells us, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
So there it is, a full tour of the rabbit hole I fell in. Hopefully this gave you the guidance and comfort that it gave me. And if not, that’s alright too. Maybe you don’t buy into all this philosophical mumbo jumbo. Maybe I’ve just read and written a whole lot of nothing. Or maybe I’m just coping with my depressingly likely fate in December. But, the undeniable reality is that we all have our own boulders and they only get heavier.
To sum up Camus’ teachings, we can keep throwing sissy fits or we can push the boulder like Sisyphus.
What an insightful topic here. I love the myth of Sisyphus. You tackle an existential question with insight and thoughtfulness. Nice job here. Camus is an interesting author. You should read some of his work. The Stranger is a good start or The Plague. Talk about dealing with absurdity. Thanks for this interesting and insightful read. I enjoyed it.
Matthew, I think your blog post is one of the best I’ve read, and definitely one of the most relatable in these times. I love how you connected college applications to Sisyphus because I think it is a great representation of how a lot of seniors feel at the moment. It’s kind of sad to see how much stress students put on themselves in high school nowadays to try to get accepted into their dream school, and honestly, the amount of extracurriculars and activities that students do are unbelievable. I completely agree with you when you say that although we may receive some unfavorable rejection letters, we must still push ourselves and continue forward to be successful. I love how you say our “boulders” will only get heavier and we just have to keep pushing them. It’s okay though- just a couple more weeks and our boulders will be lightened.
I’ve got to say, Matthew, this blog post had more bars than a prison. All jokes aside, it was a delightful read and hit a little too close to home. These times have been stressful, and college application season does feel like it’s longer than an eternity. However, I enjoy the insight you provide with all the emotions one may experience as decisions come out. When you said it may seem like our boulder has rolled down when we get a rejection letter, it is essential to remember that we still have all our knowledge and experience. We will tend to forget this, but it is imperative for our well-being to remember that this is a minor setback. Regardless of our fates, I wish nothing but the best for all. And to echo the last line of your post, our boulder will get heavier even after admissions season, but like Sisyphus, we must keep pushing.
I thought at first from reading your title that I had no idea who Sisphyus was, so coming into it I had no clue on what you were going to talk about. Although after reading I have to come to find out I do know him and can agree to what you’re saying. The idea of you have to keep living and working even after the boulder runs down. There is no stopping the role of life at least until our last dying breath. With this idea of we have to keep going no matter the rejection letters, is the reason why there are so many motivational quotes. Not for the thought of just getting through the motions but rather hope. From “stop and smell at the roses” to “shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you will end up at the stars.” I love how you combined your reading with Sisyphus to your own life; the experience and feelings that you have right now.